2020-05-01_Good_Health

MypartnerandIhave

notchangedoursexual

repertoireinyears.How

doIgethimtotry

somethingnew?

Ifyouwantyourpartnertotry

somethingnew,discussit.Talkto

himaboutwhatyouwouldliketotry,

butit’sbettertotalkaboutitoutsideof

thebedroom.Ifthere’spressuretotry

somethingnewduringlovemaking,you

mightturnhim/heroffandruinyour

chancesofmakingithappen.Sexual

experimentationusuallyrequiresahigh

degreeoftrustandcomfortwithinthe

relationship.Makesureyouaremeeting

yourpartner’sneedstoo.

Ihaveatemperand,inthe

heatofthemoment,say

thingstomykidsand

husbandIlaterregret.How

doIdealwithmyanger?

Peopleandsituationsdon’tmake

youangry–theyjustprovidethe

stimulus.Howangryyougetdepends

onyourexpectations.Forexample,if

youbelievepeopleshouldalwaysbe

politeandconsiderate,orthetrains

shouldalwaysrunontime,you’re

settingyourselfupforangerand

frustration.Stresscanmakeyoumore

pronetoangryoutburstsbyreducing

yourtoleranceforevenminor

hassles.Makeyourenvironment

stress-free.Startbydealing

withproblemsquicklyand

efficiently.Getplentyofrest

andpractisemediationand

relaxation.Trytoavoid

alcoholandoveruseof

stimulantssuchascaffeine.

My husbandandIhave

recently divorced.Myex

wants a ‘co-parenting’

arrangementofour

children.I’mnotsureit

canwork.

Co-parentingafterdivorce

has becomeanattractive

arrangement.Itemphasisesanequal

parenting roleforyourex,whilegiving

you more timetocontinueyourcareer

and rebuild yoursociallifewhile

raising your children.Thekeyto

making it workisflexibilityandopen

communication.Parentingschedules

need to be organisedandyour

kids need tohaveroutine

and stability,sofinda

middle groundonissues

such as bedtime,food

and discipline.Your

children willbenefit

from parentswhocan

worktogether.

Myteen isrejecting me asa

parent.How doI reconnect?

Yourteenisnolongerachild,soyouneed

toconnectwiththemasayoungadult.Try:

»Communicatingdifferently.Forexample,

letthemknowthereasonsbehindyourrules.

» Give themprivacy.Showyourteenyouacknowledge

they’re gettingolderandthattheirneedsarechanging.

For example,alwaysknockbeforeyouentertheirroom.

» Don’tbecritical.Instead,praiseyourteenwhen

theydosomethingwell.Iftheyhavedone

somethingwrong,discussitinanadultfashion.

Showdirectionandbeclearaboutwhatyou

expectfromthem.Don’tyellorbelittlethem.

» Give themresponsibilities.Letyourteenknowyou

trust themtobehaveappropriatelyandwithmaturity.

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PHOTOGRAPHY

GETTY IMAGES

PSYCHOLOGIST JENNIFER GARTH ON TALKING TO TEENS,

THE INS AND OUTS OF CO-PARENTING, MANAGING YOUR

ANGER, AND TRYING SOMETHING NEW IN THE BEDROOM

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