New York Magazine - USA (2020-03-30)

march30–april12, 2020 | newyork 29

thescreen-timedilemmamost.Onlyyou

candeterminewhat’s rightforbothyourkid

andtheemotionaldeadplaceyou’llneedto

retreat towhenit allgoestoshit.My voteis

forpullingoutscreenswhen

(1)thingsaresohopelesslyofftherails

thateveryonecouldbenefitfromsome

family-memberdistancing,and

(2)youareabouttobeona callso

importantthat hellfirewillraindown

uponeveryone’sheadsif yourkids

inte wiseoutof

in th

Be realistic about how easy (or not) it is to

wrap up screen time. Some kids can be told

a ti mewhenscreenswill be done,andat the

al lottedtime,they’llshrugandgo do some-

thingelse.Otherkidswillimplodeand

tr ashtheplacelikeKeithRichardsat the

tenderageof 105oncetheiPadis removed

fr omtheirsweatylittlegrips.If it’sthelat-

ter,considerwaitinguntillaterin theafter-

noon,whenyouhavelongsincepassedthe

I Givea ShitHowTodayGoesstage.

Unlikeeveryonewho’s beenworking

fromhomeallalongandstrainingvaliantly

toappearasif everythingisvery profes-

sionalandextremelychill,you’rebenefiting

from a time when so many others are expe-

riencing more or less the same level of dis-

ruption. Everyone has kids peeking in on

theirvideocalls.Everyone’sdogs are barking

inthebackground.That’swhy we have

thosemicrophone-off, camera-off buttons.

Look,weallknowwhat’sup.We all know

workisgoingtosufferandparenting is

goingtosufferandwearegoing to suffer

too.Thereis noawardceremony at the end

ofthis.Unlike therunningjoke that every

workingparent,singleparent, or stay-at-

homeparenthasutteredat some point, that

“everyonewasalive”at theend of the day,

thatis actuallytherealjobweall have right

now.Tryingtokeeppeoplealive. Even peo-

ple we don’t know and can’t see, at the end

of the day, every day, until this thing is done.

Godspeed. ■

Illustration by Eugenia Loli