could notkeep pace, and HS felt compelled
to create itsownonline newspaper in
- Called ‘The LibertyWeb’, it seeks
to provide “not onlyspiritual, but also
political, economicand educational advice
onaglobalscale”, pointing “the direction
in whichthis confused and drifting planet
should go.” What this amounts to israther
likeasurprisinglypro-immigrant Japanese
DailyMail,aswrittenbySpiritualists. I
agreewitheditor JiroAyaori’sdesireto
provethat“Marxist income-distribution
andacontrolledeconomyproduce nothing
but poverty”, butwould notchoose to prove
thisbyrunning interviews with like-minded
ghosts.^7
THE IRONLADY-BOY
Thesitecarriesawealth ofweirdnessIcan
onlyhintathere.Particularly impressive
washow,in2013, Margaret Thatcher’sghost
grantedaworld-exclusive first interview
onlyhoursafter her death–the Ladywas
forreturning after all. Although “puzzledby
the sudden summoning”,itwas definitely
her,asher spirit said things like“Ye s, [I am]
the Iron Lady, I’m notverykind,andIhave a
short temper.” On 23 November 1990, the day
following Maggie’stearfulresignation as PM,
Master Okawahad alreadygivenaspeech
declaring thegreatwomanwasreallyan
“angel of light” from theseventh dimension,
as well asaman whohadchosen to be born
intoawoman’sbodytoadvance the feminist
causeby swinging herhandbag at all and
sundry: MrsTwasreallyMrT.Duringa1986
conversation with the 1,000-year-old female
novelist Murasaki Shikibu, Okawahad
discoveredthat,this time around,the gods
had givenpermissionforThatcher to be born
withavaginainstead of thepenishe/she
normallywielded. It transpiredThatcher’s
previous Earthlyincarnationhad been as
the demonstrably male OttovonBismarck
–Germany’s‘Iron Chancellor’ transforming
with startling logic into Britain’s‘Iron Lady’.
As Okawasaid, thiswas“abig scoop”, and
he asked Maggie/Otto what lessonsJapan
could drawfrom Britain’s conduct during
theFalklandsWar. If Japan and Chinawere
currentlyatloggerheadsoverthe disputed
SenkakuIslands, likeBritain and Argentina
oncewere overtheFalklands, then what
shouldTokyodo?According to Samurai
Thatcher: “Youmust attack, of course... [As I
said tomyCabinet in1982] Ifwebelieve that
it’sour island,wemust keep it, protect it, and
attackour enemies, the invaders, and destroy
them!”^8
When he first attracted publicattention,
MasterOkawasoundedeverybit as
belligerent as Maggie. Riding the tail-end of
Tokyo’s 1980s stock-marketmiracle, Okawa’s
1991 top-sellerNostradamus:Terrifying
PropheciesclaimedJapan’sdestinywas to
become‘Leviathan’, the last superpower
standing inapost-ColdWarworld. “In the
21st centurytherewillbenoenemiesfor
Leviathan,”hehad Nostradamus predict.
“It will slash the throats of the old eagle
[America] and theexhausted Red bear
[Russia], and laugh at the ageing Europe.
It will use China asaslave andKoreaas
aprostitute.”^9 One appraisal of the early
HS creedwasof“aconstantlychanging
cosmology based on social Darwinism”which“matched theebullient, competitive
mood of the [late-1980s] bubble-economy”.
Timeschange, though,and anysuccessful
right-wing coalitionmust nowtreadafine
line between appealing to traditional
conservativesand more liberal centre-right
figures, so Okawa’s toned-downdomestic
message is nowDarwinian moreinits habit
of adapting to anevolvingenvironment.
When in 2016 amisfitstabbed 19 disabled
people dead ataJapanese care-home, Okawa
sawanopportunitytoreleaseyet another
book,Love, the Disabled and theWorkings
of the Devil,inwhichheargued the Hitler-
loving killerwaspossessedbythe ghost of
FriedrichNietzsche, whose cruel‘survival of
the fittest’-style doctrine had to beresisted.
Though an economic burden, the disabled
must still be supported; especiallyasmany
hadselflesslychosento be bornlikethat, to
“awakentolove”the souls of compassionate,
able-bodied tax-payers.^10MERCURY RISING
Another tacticwastoexploit Thatcher’s
inherentlycross-overstatusasacross-gender
ghost to winoverboth right-wing social
liberals and right-wing economic liberals
bypursuing the ‘pink pound’. “Spiritual
research”caused Okawato realise that if
amalesoul likeMrs Thatcher is suddenly
reborn inafemale body, forceofhabit might
see her stillattracted towomen, meaning
she is eitherbornalesbian or with gender
dysphoria–which is fine, says Okawa,ashe’d
still love theirvotes. Being born in the wrong
bodyshouldbeviewedasanopportunity
“for polishing and training the soul”,he
argues, citing the case of onevoter who
had been too aggressivelymasculine in a
previous incarnation asasamurai whowas
laterreborn with breasts “to balance out the
radical samurai’skarma”. Businesses should
welcome this phenomenon, asreincarnated
LGBTwalletswere worth $4 trillion
globally;Okawasuggested supporters
establish “bridal businesses that accept gay
weddings”.
So,that’s MatthewParris’svotewon. How
to wooNormanTebbit, too? Bywarning gays
not to go “toofar” in theirrainbowways
and unleashawaveofqueer “extremism”;
if Japan bent toofartopinkpower, then
even fewercitizenswould get pregnant,
national demographicswouldtotallycollapse
and “the futureofhumanity couldbe
endangered.”
TosoothetheTebbit caucus, therefore,
Okawa raised the ghost ofFreddie Mercury
who,hehelpfullyexplained,was “a gay
man who hadrelationships with manymen
andwomen, whichcaused him to contract
AIDS.”Freddie’ssufferingsoulsaidhewas
doomed tostrutour Earthforeverlikethe
WanderingJew; wasthe flamboyant former
Queenfrontman being punishedbyGodfor
leadingalifeofoverly-bohemian rhapsody?
Freddie “wasreligiouslyZoroastrian”,said
Okawa, so he conjured Zoroaster’sown ghost50 FT389
STRANGE STATESMEN #36MARGARETTHATCHER’SGHOSTGRANTEDAN INTERVIEW