FT389 65TheMermaid
DirSvyatoslavPodgaevskiy,Russia
1993
4Digital Cinema, £14.99 (Blu-ray),
£7.99 (DVD), also on demand
TheMerma idis anot terriblygood
Russianhorror effort whichgets
off toapoor startby not even
havingamermaid in it.
Marina (ViktoriyaAgalakova),
ayoungRussian woman,
is lookingforwar dtoher
forthcoming marriage to Roma
(EfimPetrun in), atalented
swimmer.Roma is spiritedaway
by hisfun-loving best mate Ilya
(Nikita Elenev) to the somewhat
run down lakeside summer house
Roma and his sister have been
givenbytheir father.Unwilling to
participate in typical stag night
behaviour with the strippersIlya
has arranged, Roma inexplicably
goesforanight timeswim.There
he meetsamysteriousyoung
woman who demands to know
whether he lovesher.He, of
course, says no; and thereafter his
life becomesaliving nightmare
because he has unwittinglymet
avengeful spirit who,ifrejected,
will haunt and torment him
foreve rmore.
So far, so meh.This collection
of horror clichés will please only
the least demanding genrefans.
It relies onyoung people behaving
in amoronicfashion, cars not
starting, predictable jump scares,
fake-out endings, and visual
tropes that arenot somuch over-
used as completelyworn out; if I
see another horror film in which
the monster isawoman with long,
wethair I’ll go postal.
Thepremise ,too,seems ill
thought through.Thechoice
presentedby the spirit isalose-
lose situation: ifyoutellher you
don’tlove her,your life becomes
hellish; ifyoutellher youdolove
her,you dieinstantly.You might
as well sa yyes, justtoget it over
with.
Thephoto graphyisprettygood
–but then onecan saythat about
most professional films these days
–the performances arejust about
acceptable, and the script never
risesabove the banal.Clearly
this particular ‘mermaid’ is best
avoided–and that goesforthe
film too.
Daniel King
HHanymore–not even geography.
Whichis, ironically, aperfectly
logicalwaytoplayit.
TheBeyondis often called
Fulci’sfinest, thoughforme,
Cityof theLivingDeadtakes
that crown(someone barfs
up their entireset of internal
organs in that one, after all).
Yetthis reallyisamong his
best works, with at least
twoimages from the film
nowcemented into horror
iconography: theKubrickian
shot ofablind woman and her
dog, standing in the middle of
adesertedhighway,and the
pictureofHell asadesolate
wasteland,strewnwiththe
silent corpses of the damned.
Fun fact: those cadavers were
playedbyhomelesspeople
who Fulci pulled in from the
street.Ihope theygot paid–or
were givenasandwich at the
veryleast.
ShamelessFilms have
releasedTheBeyondin a
new2Kscan withanice set
of interviews andextras
–includingfour di fferent
versions of the prologue
presentedindifferent colours
(blackand white, sepia,colour
andcombo). But it’sthe film
itself that still shines.WithThe
Beyond,Fulci mixedakind of
Southern, almost Lovecraftian,
Gothic setting with the visual
style and illogical priorities
of the Italian sensibility.The
result? An unpredictable
bounceinto Hellthat leaves
youwith astrange spring in
your step–especiallyasthe
FabioFrizzi soundtrackkicks
in just as those spidersstart
tearing through the plumber’s
lips...TheBeyond
DirLucioFulci,Italy 1981
ShamelessFilms,£19.99(Blu-ray)If your NewYear’ sresolution
is to seeabunch of fake
spiderseat aplumber’s
face off,then you’rein
luck, becauseLuci oFulci’s
influential1981 horror flick
TheBeyondfeatures oneof
the most drawn-outmeat-
eating arachnid scenes in
cinema.But if thatwasn’t
enough, it also happens to be
abeautifullybonkersplunge
into deep Gothic dread.
Thestory, such as it is,
follows Liza,aNewYorker
who inherits an old hotel in
Louisiana–but likeany old
building, this one hasafew
problems.Theplumbing’s a
bit iffy,for astart, and it also
sits overthe recentlyopened
gatewaytoHell.
TheBeyondis aclassic Fulci
cocktail: one part art, one part
gross-out schlockand one part
funky-ass soundtrack. Sure,
the plot maybethreadbare
(“Hell gate is open... Hell
gatemust be shut”) but the
sheer joyist he atmosphere
and striking horror set-pieces:
you’ll see thewandering
damned impale, stab, tear and
dissolvetheir hapless human
victims.Thelackofalogical
story, in fact, echoes some of
the bestwork of fellowItalianTHE REVEREND’S REVIEWFT’sresident man of the cloth REVEREND PETER LAWS
dons his dog collar and faces the flicks that Church
forgot! (www.theflicksthatchurchforgot.com)It’sabeautifullybonkersplungeintodeepGothicdreadhorror god Dario Argento.
Both directorshad the balls
to sa ythat when it comes to
depictingexistential dread,
plot should playsecond
fiddle to image and feeling.
This Euro-centric embrace of
mysteryisapleas ing mental
gear-shift compared to the
ultra-logical,everything-
must-be-explained horrors
of Hollywood.TheBeyond
says that when Hell fuses
with Earth, all bets areoff
and nothingmakes sense