Exile in Europe 129
to posit the self—“the mind which receives”—and the nonself—“the
source of all impressions.” The nonself—“reality apart from the self ”—
was there underlying human experience, and on “our conception of it
depends much that is of theoretical and practical value to us.” It was
im por tant to try to fathom reality’s meaning, even if one could aspire
only to relative knowledge of it, falling well short of absolute truth.
For Subhas, “the essential nature of reality” was “Love,” which he re-
garded as “the essence of the Universe” and “the essential principle in
human life.” He had arrived at this faith through a combination of ra-
tional study, intuition, and pragmatic considerations. “I see all around
me,” he wrote, “the play of love; I perceive within me the same instinct;
I feel that I must love in order to fulfill myself and I need love as the
basic principle on which to reconstruct life.” He explained the existence
of much in life that was opposed to love by invoking a dynamic pro cess
of the unfolding of reality. “Reality, therefore, is Spirit,” he concluded,
“the essence of which is Love, gradually unfolding itself in an eternal
play of con flicting forces and their solutions.”^129
It was more than just love in the abstract that pervaded his life dur-
ing the six weeks Subhas and Emilie spent in Badgastein during the
bright winter of 1937. His friend and colleague A. C. N. Nambiar,
the singer Hedy Fülöp- Miller, and nephew Amiya came for brief visits.
The photographer and filmmaker A. K. Chettiar, then making the first
documentary on Gandhi, spent a week in snowy Badgastein, ensuring
that there would be a visual record of a key moment in Subhas’s per-
sonal life. Like so many Indians, Chettiar was starry- eyed in his admi-
ration of Bose, and could hardly believe his good fortune in meeting
the charismatic leader at such close quarters. He was touched by Bose’s
kindness in looking after him when his fingers became cold and numb
as he was trying to take pictures. Chettiar described a sleigh ride they
all took to a neighboring town, to buy his return ticket to Rome. Bose
insisted on walking back by himself in the snow. His companions were
worried, but held him in such awe that they dared not question his
decision. They waited anxiously until he returned hale and hearty to
Badgastein, well after dark.^130
On December 26, 1937, Subhas Chandra Bose secretly married Emi-
lie Schenkl. Despite the obvious anguish, they chose to keep their rela-