Mothers and Children. Jewish Family Life in Medieval Europe - Elisheva Baumgarten

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in theory they could remarry after three months, in practice, they were often
forced to wait longer, out of concern for the infants’ welfare. These laws were
discussed and redefined in medieval Ashkenaz.


Twelfth- and Thirteenth-Century Scandals

The question of the remarriage of widowed and divorced women during the
period of their nursing was subject to intense scrutiny during the second half
of the twelfth century; these discussions still echoed vividly during the first part
of the thirteenth century. During the course of the twelfth and thirteenth cen-
turies, legal attitudes toward divorced or widowed women with infants under
twenty-four months of age underwent marked change. In almost all the cases
brought before the courts or that required the ruling of individual rabbis, the
mothers wished to remarry, and the legal restrictions of their status as nursing
mothers posed barriers to their newly proposed marriages. These cases are
sometimes brought by the men who wish to marry these women, sometimes
by the women themselves, or their families, and, at times, by their ex-husbands
or the deceased husband’s family.^151
The sources from the period preceding the mid–twelfth century closely fol-
low the talmudic rulings. Divorcées and widows were treated differently, and
the more lenient legal authorities allowed nursing women to remarry when
their children reached the age of eighteen months, rather than wait until the
end of the twenty-fourth-month period. For example, R. Samson of Falaise,
who was a student of Rashi’s, and was R. Tam’s teacher and brother-in-law, is
said to have ruled that a divorcée could remarry three months after her divorce
if she had never nursed her infant.^152 While R. Samson agreed that it was bet-
ter if the woman waited longer before marrying again and stated that “if she
acts stringently, she should be blessed,” he seems to recognize the need some
of these women had to remarry.^153 In addition, some sources report that R.
Samson followed Beit Hillel’s opinion, ruling that a woman who was nursing
her child could remarry after fifteen or eighteen months,^154 rather than wait-
ing the full twenty-four months, as was generally accepted.^155
R. Tam set about changing these legal norms. His central ruling had to do
with the status of divorcées. In vehement opposition to his brother-in-law,
R. Samson, and contrary to the opinion of many of his contemporaries and pre-
decessors, R. Tam held that both divorcées and widows must wait the full
twenty-four months before remarrying, without any exceptions to the rule.
Even if the woman had never nursed her child, and could transfer it to a wet
nurse without problem, she was not allowed to remarry until her child reached
the age of two.^156 R. Tam adapted two different discussions of divorced and
widowed women, which appear in the Mishna and the Talmud, as his prece-
dents. One precedent was a Mishna in Tractate Sotahthat discusses how to
treat pregnant or nursing women who are suspected of adultery. Women who


148 CHAPTER FOUR
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