We owe her honor because she is the mother of our Lord. Indeed, one who does
not honor the mother, without doubt will dishonor the son. So it says in the Scrip-
tures “Honor your father and your mother” (Exod. 20:12). Therefore what shall
we say, brothers? For she herself is our mother. Indeed through her we are born,
through her we are nourished, through her we grow. Through her we are born,
not in this world but with the Lord.^18These understandings of the honor owed by children to their parents, and the
consequent division of labor and the responsibilities among the two parents,
support perceptions in both Jewish and Christian culture that identified
women with physicality and corporeality. These conceptions, defining the
contribution of each parent to their children’s being, as well as what they were
entitled to receive from their children in return, both explained and justified
the medieval way of life and the ideal constructions of family relations.
A unique source, the piyut Orah·H·ayim, written by R. Simon b. Isaac b. Abun
in the early eleventh century in Ashkenaz, discusses the fifth commandment and
describes in great detail the care parents were expected to provide for their chil-
dren.^19 This is one of the few sources that actually describes men as caring for
young children. R. Simon describes the father and mother as nurses—Omen
uMeneqet, an image that points to the devoted care the children receive from
their parents.^20 Although the two terms omen and meneqet may be rendered in
English as nurse (and in Latin as nutrix), they are two separate terms. The term
meneqetcomes from the verb to nurse/breast-feed, and refers only to women who
cared for infants, whereas, in the biblical context, omenrefers to men and, in the
female form, omenet refers to women who do not breast-feed the child but who
care for the child like a caretaker.^21 Rashi, however, explains that the omen cares
for the child, employing the French term nourriture—the same verb nutrire from
which the Latin nutrixis derived.^22 R. Simon b. Isaac refers to both the mother
and the father by these names. In addition, he provides a detailed list of all the
things parents do for their children, without distinction between gender roles.
Most of these deeds are related to the first stages of a child’s life. Both parents
pray for the birth of a son,^23 bring him into the covenant, nurse, feed, clothe, ed-
ucate, and pray for the infant. In addition, parents teach their child a profession
and marry him off. This piyut is one of the few sources that provides a detailed
list of what child care entailed. It is unique in that it attributes some of the ac-
tions related to early child care to men; most of the other sources treat the care
of young children as the sole responsibility of women.
Parental Love and CareThe sources see mothers’ love for their children as “natural,” unique and spe-
cial to women. The author of Sefer H·asidim, in discussing how society should
treat the handicapped, comments on mothers’ care for their children: