Mothers and Children. Jewish Family Life in Medieval Europe - Elisheva Baumgarten

discuss extramarital affairs, which were not uncommon, especially when hus-
bands were traveling.^109 A quote from Sefer H·asidim summarizes the situation:

Those scouting out the land to find a place to live should pay attention to the pop-

ulation in each city. What are the ways of the gentiles? For if they practice licen-

tiousness, know that if Jews come to live in that city, their sons and daughters will

also behave just as those gentiles do. For in each and every city the customs of the

gentiles are, in most cases, those of the Jews who dwell with them.^110

Crib Death

Another topic studied in the context of parental and especially maternal neglect
is that of infants found lifeless in their parents’ bed. In some of these cases, the
deaths were probably crib death (SIDS).^111 Some scholars, however, have seen
this as evidence of a method of infanticide—overlying, and have argued that
these children (many of them girls) died because of neglect, indicating a lack of
emotional attachment to children. This accusation of modern scholars echoes,
at least to a certain extent, medieval attitudes toward parents who found their
children dead in their beds. Canon law treated such cases as instances of mur-
der, although the penalties and penances in such cases were relatively lenient.^112
Jewish law, like canon law, treated these cases as a sin that required pen-
ance.^113 A number of medieval penances discuss overlaying:

I found an answer about a woman who found her child dead in her bed. If she is

not pregnant and is not nursing, and is also healthy, let her do penance for a year,

but only if her husband wishes that she do so. And if she is young and is not used

to fasting, let them [the woman and her husband] fast Mondays and Thursdays

until they complete a year of fasting. And it is good if, to the greatest extent possi-

ble, they do not lay the children down in their beds, unless they see a need.^114

Another response on the same topic is attributed to R. Meir b. Barukh:

Maharam was asked about a woman who lay on her son and killed him, what her

penance should be. And R. Meir instructed her to fast for a full year: not to eat

meat or drink wine except for on the Sabbath and the holidays and New Moons,

and H·anuka and Purim, when she should eat meat and drink wine. And in com-

pensation for those holidays and new moons and H·anuka and Purim, on which

she does not fast, she should fast on other days instead, until she has completed

365 days of fasting. And subsequently, she should fast every week—on Mondays

and Thursdays, according to her strength. And she should eat meat and drink

wine. Throughout all of her pregnancy and her days of nursing, she should not

fast, and she should be careful not to let her son rest [in the same bed] with her.^115

This response was well known in subsequent generations as well.^116 The
legal authorities refer not only to the penance but also to the need to educate

176 CHAPTER FIVE