DEPARTMENT OF WIT
O
N THE INTERNET we’re constantly
asked for customer reviews.
We’re invited to give our verdict on
hotels, restaurants and shows by
awarding stars, giving a ranking or
leaving comments.
While we’re about it, we could
also post user ratings for our romantic
conquests:What’s Your
Rating for
Dating?
ByAnne Roumanoff “Experienced type who’s been
around the block a few times. A bit
slow in getting started but good road-
holding. Tends to consume too much
in liquid form, which impacts nega-
tively on performance.”
“Lovely welcome and delightful
stay in an idyllic setting but came
to an abrupt end when I discovered
that the owner was indulging in mul-
tiple occupancy.”
“A high-class establishment—
supposedly. But hygiene and
cleanliness left a lot to be desired.
To be avoided!”
“A pleasant trip spoiled by a lack of
generosity without a single present,
not even on the first day. Bring your
own food or have it delivered—culi-
nary skills practically zilch.”
“Top-of-the-range model, immacu-
late presentation, oodles of artistic
sensibility but highly strung and im-
possible to please.”
“Modest set-up and nothing much
to look at, but a warm and well-
honed welcome that quickly made
me oblivious to a lack of height—
and of hair. You feel so good there that
your only wish is to hurry back.”
At the end of the day though, when
it comes to love, it’s best to set out in
blissful ignorance. No need for cus-
tomer reviews to help you make up
your mind. Sometimes it’s best just
to listen carefully—to your heart.Anne Roumanoff is a well-known French
humorist. She lives in Paris. shutterstock
28 february 2020