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email: [email protected]readersdigest.co.in 53Reader’s DigestI have all of Marie Kondo’s books. Now,
I just need a way to organize them.
—Submitted by Rob SowbyÊ“After learning
six hours of basic
semaphore, I was
flagging.”
—Richard Pulsford;
bbc.comA widower and a
widow attend their
70th class reunion, and
a long-ago spark is re-
kindled. At the end of
the night, he asks,
“Will you marry me?”“Yes, yes, I will!” she
says enthusiastically.
The next morning,
the widower wakes up
troubled. Did she say
yes or no?
Confused, he calls
her and asks, “Did
you say yes or no to
marrying me?”
“I said yes! And
I’m glad you called,
because I couldn’tTHINGS YOU’LL NEVER HEAR A
THREE-YEAR-OLD SAY
Ê“It doesn’t really look like a dragon,
but never mind, I’ll eat it anyway—
food is food!”
Ê“Yep, that’s exactly how I wanted it
done. You’ve nailed it. Again.”
Ê“Don’t need it. Already have three.
Let’s just stick to our shopping list.”
Ê“For Pete’s sake, Dad. It’s 3:30 in the
morning. Please, go back to bed you’re
starting a new job, and this is the one
night you really need some
decent sleep.”
Ê“Don’t hide that square millimetre of
zucchini behind the pasta. More! More
green! I’m into micro-sprouts at the
moment too.”Ê“It doesn’t matter how we did this
yesterday. Things change!”
Ê“Here’s the remote—I don’t really know
how to use it anyway.”
Ê“I bet I can get in my car seat before
you can say the words, ‘My back. I
can’t ... straighten ... up ... ’”
Ê“Here’s your phone back.”
—Olivia Appleby on mcsweeneys.netremember who
asked me.”
—thechattanoogan.comFinally getting around
to calling all those kids
that wrote in my mid-
dle school yearbook,
“We should hang out
this summer!”
— @Cheeseboy22fo
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