How to reach an agreement
Negotiation is the fine art of finding a solution to an apparently impossible
situation. One of the best-known negotiating methods, ‘principled
negotiation’, is based on the book Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and
William L. Ury.
Let’s break down their strategy and apply it to real life: think about a
complex situation – negotiating your salary with your boss, pocket money
with your children, a ransom demanded by a blackmailer – and try to
apply the following principles to the situation:
· Thing, not person: do not be distracted by whether you like the other
person or not.· Similarities, not differences: don’t think: I am in the weaker [or
stronger] negotiating position. Ask yourself: What does the other person
need from me? Do we have common interests?· Good enough, not perfect: you should not be aiming for the maximum
possible. Because perfection is like the unicorn: it’s rumoured to exist,
but nobody has ever seen it. So, alongside your desired outcome to the
negotiation, have a Plan B prepared before negotiations even start. This
is called the BATNA Principle (Best Alternative to a Negotiated
Agreement). It offers the best alternative when an agreement can’t be
reached.There are two schools of thought when it comes to negotiation: the first
believes that you have to negotiate ‘hard’ and ‘conquer’ the other side
(‘It’s not enough to win, someone has to lose’); the other recommends
negotiating ‘softly’ in order not to put a strain on the relationship.
‘Principled negotiation’ falls into the second camp and recommends
cooperative negotiation. Negotiating properly means that everyone gets
more than they originally hoped for.
‘You must never try to make all the money that’s in a deal. Let the other
fellow make some money too, because if you have a reputation for always
making all the money, you won’t have many deals.’