278 Part III Humanistic/Existential Theories
Self-actualizing people need not be poets or artists to be creative. In speak-
ing of his mother-in-law (who was also his aunt), Maslow (1968a) vividly pointed
out that creativity can come from almost anywhere. He said that whereas his self-
actualizing mother-in-law had no special talents as a writer or artist, she was truly
creative in preparing homemade soup. Maslow remarked that first-rate soup was
more creative than second-rate poetry!Resistance to Enculturation
A final characteristic identified by Maslow was resistance to enculturation. Self-
actualizing people have a sense of detachment from their surroundings and are able
to transcend a particular culture. They are neither antisocial nor consciously non-
conforming. Rather, they are autonomous, following their own standards of con-
duct and not blindly obeying the rules of others.
Self-actualizing people do not waste energy fighting against insignificant
customs and regulations of society. Such folkways as dress, hair style, and traffic
laws are relatively arbitrary, and self-actualizing people do not make a conspicuous
show of defying these conventions. Because they accept conventional style and
dress, they are not too different in appearance from anyone else. However, on
important matters, they can become strongly aroused to seek social change and to
resist society’s attempts to enculturate them. Self-actualizing people do not merely
have different social mores, but, Maslow (1970) hypothesized, they are “less encul-
turated, less flattened out, less molded” (p. 174).
For this reason, these healthy people are more individualized and less homog-
enized than others. They are not all alike. In fact, the term “self-actualization”
means to become everything that one can become, to actualize or fulfill all of one’s
potentials. When people can accomplish this goal, they become more unique, more
heterogeneous, and less shaped by a given culture (Maslow, 1970).Love, Sex, and Self-Actualization
Before people can become self-actualizing, they must satisfy their love and belonging-
ness needs. It follows then that self-actualizing people are capable of both giving and
receiving love and are no longer motivated by the kind of deficiency love (D-love)
common to other people. Self-actualizing people are capable of B-love, that is, love
for the essence or “Being” of the other. B-love is mutually felt and shared and not
motivated by a deficiency or incompleteness within the lover. In fact, it is unmotivated,
expressive behavior. Self-actualizing people do not love because they expect some-
thing in return. They simply love and are loved. Their love is never harmful. It is the
kind of love that allows lovers to be relaxed, open, and nonsecretive (Maslow, 1970).
Because self-actualizers are capable of a deeper level of love, Maslow (1970)
believed that sex between two B-lovers often becomes a kind of mystical experi-
ence. Although they are lusty people, fully enjoying sex, food, and other sensuous
pleasures, self-actualizers are not dominated by sex. They can more easily tolerate
the absence of sex (as well as other basic needs), because they have no deficiency
need for it. Sexual activity between B-lovers is not always a heightened emotional
experience; sometimes it is taken quite lightly in the spirit of playfulness and humor.
But this approach is to be expected, because playfulness and humor are B-values,
and like the other B-values, they are an important part of a self-actualizer’s life.