306 Part III Humanistic/Existential Theories
suggests that the positive regard is no longer dependent on specific client behaviors
and does not have to be continually earned.Empathic Listening
The third necessary and sufficient condition of psychological growth is empathic
listening. Empathy exists when therapists accurately sense the feelings of their
clients and are able to communicate these perceptions so that clients know that
another person has entered their world of feelings without prejudice, projection, or
evaluation. To Rogers (1980), empathy “means temporarily living in the other’s
life, moving about in it delicately without making judgments” (p. 142). Empathy
does not involve interpreting clients’ meanings or uncovering their unconscious
feelings, procedures that would entail an external frame of reference and a threat
to clients. In contrast, empathy suggests that a therapist sees things from the cli-
ent’s point of view and that the client feels safe and unthreatened.
Client-centered therapists do not take empathy for granted; they check the
accuracy of their sensings by trying them out on the client. “You seem to be tell-
ing me that you feel a great deal of resentment toward your father.” Valid empathic
understanding is often followed by an exclamation from the client along these
lines: “Yes, that’s it exactly! I really do feel resentful.”
Empathic listening is a powerful tool, which along with genuineness and
caring, facilitates personal growth within the client. What precisely is the role of
empathy in psychological change? How does an empathic therapist help a client
move toward wholeness and psychological health? Rogers’ (1980) own words pro-
vide the best answer to these questions.
When persons are perceptively understood, they find themselves coming in
closer touch with a wider range of their experiencing. This gives them an
expanded referent to which they can turn for guidance in understanding
themselves and directing their behavior. If the empathy has been accurate and
deep, they may also be able to unblock a flow of experiencing and permit it to
run its uninhibited course. (p. 156)
Empathy is effective because it enables clients to listen to themselves and, in effect,
become their own therapists.
Empathy should not be confused with sympathy. The latter term suggests
a feeling for a client, whereas empathy connotes a feeling with a client. Sym-
pathy is never therapeutic, because it stems from external evaluation and usually
leads to clients’ feeling sorry for themselves. Self-pity is a deleterious attitude
that threatens a positive self-concept and creates disequilibrium within the self-
structure. Also, empathy does not mean that a therapist has the same feelings
as the client. A therapist does not feel anger, frustration, confusion, resentment,
or sexual attraction at the same time a client experiences them. Rather, a thera-
pist is experiencing the depth of the client’s feeling while permitting the client
to be a separate person. A therapist has an emotional as well as a cognitive
reaction to a client’s feelings, but the feelings belong to the client, not the
therapist. A therapist does not take ownership of a client’s experiences but is
able to convey to the client an understanding of what it means to be the client
at that particular moment (Rogers, 1961).