324 Part III Humanistic/Existential Theories
T
wice married, twice divorced, Philip was struggling through yet another dif-
ficult relationship—this time with Nicole, a writer in her mid-40s. Philip could
offer Nicole both love and financial security, but their relationship did not seem
to be working.
Six months after Philip met Nicole, the two spent an idyllic summer together
at his retreat. Nicole’s two small sons were with their father and Philip’s three
children were by then young adults who could care for themselves. At the begin-
ning of the summer, Nicole talked about the possibility of marriage, but Philip
replied that he was against it, citing his two previous unsuccessful marriages as
his reason. Aside from this brief disagreement, the time they spent together that
summer was completely pleasurable. Their intellectual discussions were gratifying
to Philip and their lovemaking was the most satisfying he had ever experienced,
often bordering on ecstasy.
At the end of this romantic summer, Nicole returned home alone to put her
children in school. The day after she arrived home, Philip telephoned her, but
somehow her voice seemed strange. The next morning he called again and got the
feeling that someone else was with Nicole. That afternoon he called several more
times but kept getting a busy signal. When he finally got through, he asked her if
someone had been with her that morning. Without hesitation, Nicole reported that
Craig, an old friend from her college days, was staying with her and that she had
fallen in love with him. Moreover, she planned to marry Craig at the end of the
month and move to another part of the country.
Philip was devastated. He felt betrayed and abandoned. He lost weight,
resumed smoking, and suffered from insomnia. When he saw Nicole again, he
expressed his anger at her “crazy” plan. This outburst of rage was rare for Philip.
He seldom showed anger, perhaps for fear of losing the one he loved. To compli-
cate matters, Nicole said she still loved Philip, and she continued to see him
whenever Craig was not available. Eventually, Nicole lost her infatuation with
Craig and told Philip that, as he well knew, she could never leave him. This com-
ment confused Philip because he knew no such thing.Overview of Existential Psychology
We return to Philip’s story at several points in this chapter. But first, we present
a brief overview of existential psychology.
Shortly after World War II, a new psychology—existential psychology—
began to spread from Europe to the United States. Existential psychology is rooted
in the philosophy of Søren Kierkegaard, Friedrich Nietzsche, Martin Heidegger,
Jean-Paul Sartre, and other European philosophers. The first existential psycholo-
gists and psychiatrists were also Europeans, and these included Ludwig Binswanger,
Medard Boss, Victor Frankl, and others.
For nearly 50 years, the foremost spokesperson for existential psychology in
the United States was Rollo May. During his years as a psychotherapist, May
evolved a new way of looking at human beings. His approach was not based on
any controlled scientific research but rather on clinical experience. He saw people
as living in the world of present experiences and ultimately being responsible for
who they become. May’s penetrating insights and profound analyses of the human