way. Situations like this just don’t feel as overwhelming to them,
because they can think through the experience in a clearheaded
way. This can carry over into relationships as well. Where another
person might have felt frightened to confront the bride, Ava and
other high sensation-seekers might not even think twice about it.
Like Ava says, “No fear.”
This combination of reactions makes it easier for Ava to
control interpersonal situations around her and it also makes her
a natural leader when she’s in a group. “I’m definitely always the
leader. If there’s a group of people walking I’m somehow always in
the front, I’m always leading it. Even if I don’t know where we are
going. If I’m on an airplane I want to be in the exit row. I’m the one
that says ‘Okay everyone I’ll open the door, let’s go down the slide,
it’s going to be okay.’ I don’t want someone who’s panicking.
I know that I’m going to be able to handle it” (Controlling: the “C”
in Fiske’s Bucket Theory).
So where does all of this leave the sensation-seeker in
friendships? For the HSS, friends provide a source of entertain-
ment, encouragement, and support for their thrill-seeking identity.
This isn’t so different than the rest of us. However, research has
shown there are some distinctions between the high sensation-
seeker and the low sensation-seeker when it comes to building
friendships as we’ve outlined earlier. We also know that sensation-
seekers are more likely to try to get others to divulge juicy details of
their lives. This means they may be less likely to be drawn to people
who hold back interpersonally or take a lot of time to warm up to
new people. However, it also means that it’s relatively easy for them
to get closer to others. Because they are good at getting people to
disclose personal information and they are relatively open commu-
nicators themselves, the HSS may end up in close friendships more
easily.Intercultural Friendships
Talking to people who are different than you can be a challenge. It
can be easy to be misunderstood. It’s even harder when the cultural
norms are different. My mother was big on manners – which fork to
use, always saying please and thank you, and being polite to others.
It was reassuring to be certain you wouldn’t insult other people and
knowing exactly what to say. Fast forward to my first time at
summer camp. Each week we had the option to attend a different100 / Buzz!Downloaded from https://www.cambridge.org/core. Access paid by the UCSF Library, on 11 Nov 2019 at 14:21:35, subject to the Cambridge