he created a taxonomy, a way to tag various kinds of love, and gave
each one a Greek name:agape, eros, storge, pragma, mania, andludos.
Agape is selfless, non-demanding, altruistic love. Full of
commitment, agape is unconditional and unbreakable. Eros is
romantic, passionate love, the stuff of novels. Erotic love is fast
and deep, emotional and intense. It’s based on physical attraction
and strong commitment.Storgeis friendship love. In storgic love,
there are lower levels of passion, but deep respect and commitment
are key. It’s a merging of friendship and love. Physical attraction is
less important. Shared activities form the basis of the bond. While
there aren’t intense emotional or physical connections, the shared
interest and commitment lead to an enduring connection.Pragma
is practical, logical love. The pragmatic lover has already decided
who she or he should love and has a ready list of attributes the
person must have. It’s deep in commitment but shallow in passion.
They are looking for a compatible mate to share common goals.
Maniais possessive and dependent love. Often the manic lover
hopes to win the love of another. It’s an unhappy state to be in.
They want desperately to be loved and may even try to win the love
of others. This type of love is often jealous and even more often
unhappy.
Finally,ludosis game-playing love. The hunt for love and
attention is all part of the game. They love the chase. Emotional
involvement isn’t as deep, and ludic lovers may even be suspicious
of commitment. Sex is for pleasure and not a bonding experience.
Ludic love can involve deception, manipulation, and multiple
partners.
Of these six types of love, sensation-seekers tend to score
highest in ludos, the game-playing love.^18 This attraction to ludic
love may be why long-term relationships can be problematic for
some sensation-seekers. Sensation-seekers don’t always look at
relationships for their long-term potential. The higher the sensa-
tion-seeking score, the less likely they are drawn to commitment in
relationships. This may be especially true for those with high levels
of disinhibition and boredom susceptibility.
If you think about it, being in a successful long-term rela-
tionship means being successful with two very different types of
skills. Being good at finding someone means you need to be flirty,
open to meeting lots of people, and into the thrill of the hunt. Being
in a long-term relationship calls for commitment, compromise, and
a willingness to be vulnerable to letting someone know you deeply,103 / The Relationships of High Sensation-SeekersDownloaded from https://www.cambridge.org/core. Access paid by the UCSF Library, on 11 Nov 2019 at 14:21:35, subject to the Cambridge