“If they have the draw toward some kind of adventurous
activity and they start dating somebody who doesn’t, that’s defi-
nitely something that they should probably figure out very early
on,” she cautioned. “Kris and I both had other serious relationships.
My most serious relationship before him, the person was not very
adventurous. I just felt a constant pulling, like I was having to drag
someone along. It was kind of exhausting because I felt like I was
always trying to encourage him, get him going. I don’t have to do
that with Kris. For me I can’t imagine being with somebody who
can’t enjoy the same kind of experiences that give me complete
fulfillment.”
Does that mean that the only way a high sensation-seeker
can be happy is if they find a like-minded high sensation-seeking
partner? Not necessarily. Sometimes an HSS and an LSS meet, fall in
love, and make it work no matter how unlikely that may seem.
Consider the story of Gina and Ed.An Anchor that Keeps the Intensity at Bay
Gina is a high sensation-seeker who has known she was a little
different since she was a kid. “It all started when I was about
three or four. I would be outside playing with my older brother,
and I would look up and see the trees or the top of our house and
feel the need to climb. If my mom couldn’t find me, she’d look on
the roof because chances are, that’s where I’d be.” Her parents’
pleading didn’t seem to hold her back. “‘Oh, get down, you’re
going to hurt yourself! You’re going to break something! You’re
going to fall!’ That never slowed me down. One time they had to
call the fire department, because I refused to come down. I was
having fun.”
As she got older her interests shifted – rock climbing, rap-
pelling, spelunking, white water rafting, polar plunging, and sky-
diving. The older she got the more challenging the thrills. Then at
a church event, she met Ed. Ed’s relatives happened to live right
next door in her little town of about 800 people. Ed isn’t like Gina;
he’s more like me, a chill-seeker rather than a thrill-seeker.
“He cheers me on from the sidelines. When I’m going sky-
diving, he says, ‘I’ll take pictures.’” I asked her if there’s anything
that she does that’s a problem for him. Without hesitation, she said,
“Driving. I tend to be a little aggressive as a driver. I’ve had
a number of speeding tickets, because I’m in that ‘go’ mode and110 / Buzz!Downloaded from https://www.cambridge.org/core. Access paid by the UCSF Library, on 11 Nov 2019 at 14:21:35, subject to the Cambridge