it does not destroy life, it does not
destroy existence.
But there is the experience that
is not of a suicidal nature. It is
something similar to suicide, but on
a very different level, from a very
different dimension. When you are
relaxed, when there is no tension in
you, no desire, when the mind is as
silent as a lake without any ripples,
a deep feeling arises in you to
disappear in this moment, because
life has not given you anything better
than this. There have been moments
of happiness, of pleasure, but this is
something far beyond happiness and
pleasure, it is pure blissfulness
To turn back from it is really
hard. One wants to go deeper and
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one can see going deeper means
disappearing. Most of him has already
disappeared in relaxation, in silence,
in desirelessness. Just a small thread
of the ego is still hanging around.
And he would like to take a jump out
of this circle of ego, because if
relaxing even within the ego brings
so much benediction, one cannot
imagine what will be the result if
everything is dissolved, so that one
can say, 'I am not, and existence is.'
This is not a suicidal instinct;
this is spiritual liberation: liberation
from ego, from desire, from lust for
life. It is total liberation, absolute
freedom. But then, you really want
some excuse not to dissolve. But you
don't want to a accept it as a fear,
so you give it a condemnatory name-
suicide. It has nothing to do with
suicide, it is really going deeper into
life. (Courtesy: T.O.I.) zzz