Personal
relationships
Relationships invest life with purpose and meaning; they define who
we are, be it friend, father, daughter, tutor, rival or employer. Social
bonds are also vital for our psychological wellbeing. Study after study
has shown that people tend to be happier and healthier when they
have sufficient meaningful relations with others. Orphaned babies
who feel a human touch are more likely to survive than those who are
deprived of such contact. Indeed, merely thinking about an intimate
relationship can guard our self-esteem from the negative effects of
hearing about our flaws and weaknesses.
Earliest attachments
Few emotional ties can be as intense and consequential as the one
forged with the person (or persons) who looked after us when we were
first born. Psychology, not surprisingly, has paid particular attention to
these early bonds or attachments. Key twentieth-century pioneers in the
field include the American psychologist and primate researcher Harry
Harlow (1905–81) and the British psychoanalyst John Bowlby (1907–90).
Their work challenged the Freudian belief that an infant bonds with
its mother primarily because she satisfies its basic needs, or (in the
psychoanalytic jargon) provides “drive reduction”. Harlow and Bowlby
emphasized instead the importance of touch and warmth, and the
consequences if these are missing.
Harlow began his career by devising an intelligence test for monkeys,
but then made a discovery that started him down the research path that
would make him famous. He noticed how infant macaques grew attached
to the ground blankets of their cages after being separated from their
mothers and peers. If Harlow attempted to remove these blankets, the
newly orphaned monkeys would go berserk. By contrast, they remained
largely impassive when he took away their milk bottles after feeding.