Foreword xiiiof friendship. What are the implications of converting the nouns “friend” and
“friendship” into the verb “friend” with its associated forms and instantly clicked
practices to “friend” or “unfriend” another being that we may never meet in person,
much less perform any co- present, shared activity in our entire life? These practices
might highlight friendship’s fluid and active nature, its changeable, tentative, dia-
lectical, and contingent workings. Perhaps the encompassing cultural grounds for
friendship are shifting seismically with its conversion from a noun aspiring to some
degree of confidence in its existence/ persistence to a verb incessantly marking it as
contingent on the gratifications or utility of the present or projected moment. The
moral convictions of friendship are tied to friends’ dedication to a shared, well- lived
life— to fulfilling the promises asserted by our overtures to friendship and our state-
ments as friends. We must recall that offering friendship for much of recorded time
has constituted a statement that we are who we present ourselves to be and that we
will do what we say we are going to do. Any significant breach of this promise has
traditionally been regarded with disdain as the behavior of a fair- weather friend or
a faux friend.
Friendships are not always rosy, nor do they or should they always last. For many
years I have argued that friendships involve inherent dialectical tensions animat-
ing and unsettling them (Rawlins, 1983, 1989). While some of our most gratify-
ing moments are shared with our friends, some of our most hurtful experiences of
disappointment or even betrayal when we thought we could count on someone are
related to friendship. Due to their internally generated standards and situated cross-
pressures and exigencies, friendships are always ripe for conflict. Our ideal expecta-
tions of friends, tempered by concrete constraints and the interplay of friendships
with other roles and relationships, make them highly susceptible to circumstances.
Treasured ascribed and achieved identities, once richly validated within our friend-
ships, may become threatened by emerging rivalries or demands. Wrongdoings
occur, personal and professional competitions arise, and with them the need for
compassion and reconciliation. Such are the complex songs of friendship.
In light of these conceptual and substantive considerations facing friendship
scholars, the present volume offers a needed, comprehensive, and compelling
portrait of the state of social scientific inquiry into the psychology of friendship
at this juncture. Overall, the book examines varieties, tensions, and psychological
functions of friendship as a free- standing relationship and as a dimension of other
primary relationships. It does so specifically in chapters addressing friendship and
romantic relationships, friendships with coworkers, and the role of friendship in
mentoring as well as the positive effects of experiencing animals as friends. Other
chapters consider developmental issues, challenges, and normative patterns associ-
ated with friendships across the life course, including friendship during childhood
and adolescence, throughout young and middle adulthood, and in old age. In addi-
tion, psychological challenges and benefits of friendship are investigated across
the lived span of specific friendships. Individual chapters consider friendship and