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Mentors as Friends
Laura Gail LunsfordOur chief want in life is somebody who will make us do what we can.
That is the service of a friend. How he flings wide the doors of existence!
— Ralph Waldo Emerson in Conduct of Life (2001, p. 92)Introduction
Emerson might be describing a mentor in the opening quote of the chapter. Are
mentors also friends? The premise of this chapter is that mentorship and friendship
can and do overlap. Mentoring comprises some aspects of friendship, such as trust
and reciprocity. Yet, most scholars consider mentoring relationships to be different
from friendships. Mentoring relationships involve friendship, but are also character-
ized by instrumental support that enlarges horizons or, as Emerson writes, “fling(s)
wide the doors of existence.” Another distinguishing feature is that scholars usually
consider mentors to be in a more powerful position than their protégés. This chap-
ter (1) examines the lines demarcating mentorship and friendship and (2) pres-
ents a conceptual model to explain how mentors become friends and how friends
become mentors. The term “protégé” is used in this chapter but is interchangeable
with the term “mentee.”
The chapter proceeds in three parts. First, the chapter defines friendship and
mentorship before proceeding to highlight where these constructs overlap. Recent
scholarship on mentoring is presented as it relates to friendships. For example,
work on developmental networks expands the definition of mentoring in ways that
include aspects of friendships. Further, there is a place for peer relationships and
friendships in developmental networks. Scholarship on mentoring interactions pro-
vides a lens to examine how friends engage in mentor- like behaviors. This section of
the chapter considers research on natural and informal mentors. A discussion about
how friendship may enhance and limit mentorship concludes this section, along
with thoughts about the role of gender on these important relationships.