182 Friendship and Conflict
disengagement strategy of positive tone (attending to the feelings of the partner to
avoid ending the relationship unpleasantly; Lambert & Hughes, 2010) are inconsis-
tent. Some research finds that couples who used positive tone throughout the dis-
solution conversations were more likely to remain friends after breakup compared
with those who used less positive communication strategies, such as avoidance or
withdrawal. In contrast, Banks et al. (1987) found that positive tone was unrelated
to remaining friends; although the strategy of using positive tone is perceived as
more emotionally empathetic, it does not leave open the possibility of a future
relationship. Interestingly, Lambert and Hughes (2010) found that positive tone
predicted less postdissolution relationship communication satisfaction. Positively
toned disengagement strategies may sound insincere to someone who is also being
told that he/ she is no longer a desirable romantic partner and such perceptions of
insincerity may negatively impact future interactions with a former romantic part-
ner (Lambert & Hughes, 2010). Such mixed findings illustrate the need for addi-
tional research to better understand the effect of positive tone on postdissolution
relationships. Taken together, the results indicate that the use of particular disen-
gagement strategies can influence how individuals perceive communication with
their partner after the relationship has been terminated (Lambert & Hughes, 2010).
Banks et al. (1987) also examined the role of disengagement strategy selection
and whether the strategies contributed to the postdissolution friendship. Results
revealed that individuals were more likely to remain friends with ex- partners if they
communicated their emotions while leaving the possibility of a future relationship
open and were less likely to remain friends if they used the justification (providing
reasons or rationalizations for the breakup) or avoidance (avoiding without expla-
nation) tactics. Lambert and Hughes (2010) found that neither justification usage
nor communicating the advantages of changing the relationship but alluding to the
possibility of resuming the relationship in the future was significantly correlated
with postdissolution communication satisfaction. However, they found that avoid-
ance without explanation was related to higher postdissolution communication
satisfaction. The differences in the results of Banks et al. (1987) and Lambert and
Hughes (2010) may be due to the difference in outcome variables— staying friends
as compared with postdissolution communication satisfaction, respectively. As
noted earlier, Bullock et al. (2009) also suggest that friendship is more likely when
there is a possibility of rekindling the romantic relationship. These results illustrate
that how people choose to communicate intentions to disengage from a romantic
relationship can affect the likelihood of postdissolution friendship.
Negative disengagement strategies— for example, withdrawal— may lower the
quality of the friendship following a breakup (Banks et al., 1987; Metts et al., 1989).
Further research supports these findings by showing that the disengagement strategy
of neglect (behavior that is passive but destructive to the relationship, such as avoid-
ing interaction) negatively impacts friendship, and the use of exit (behavior that is
active and destructive to the relationship such as abuse or leaving the relationship)