Romantic Relationship Termination 185Less is known about the relationship between these variables in ex- partner friend-
ships. Lin and Rusbult (1995), however, suggest that the pattern can be seen across
any type of friendship, but is strongest in romantic relationships. This may be due
to the different level of exclusivity between romantic relationships and friendships
or the different rules and scripts for each type of relationship (Agnew et al., 1998).
Schneider and Kenny (2000) reported that participants engaged to a lesser extent
in the rules of friendships (e.g., share news and success, show emotional support) in
ex- romantic partner friendships than in platonic friendships. Further, they reported
fewer benefits (e.g., have fun and relax with this friend) and more costs (e.g., you
feel irritated when you are with this friend) in ex- romantic partner friendships than
platonic friendships, suggesting lower levels of interdependence in ex- romantic
partner friendships (Schneider & Kenny, 2000).
Trajectories/ Transitions of Postdissolution Friendship
It is important to consider the trajectories of romantic relationships to ex- partner
friendships. The inclusion- of- other- in- the- self literature (IOS; Aron, Aron, &
Smollan, 1992) suggests that individuals in an intimate relationship perceive over-
lap in their self and the self of their partner. Consequently, individuals must rede-
fine themselves during the process of uncoupling (Foley & Fraser, 1998). The shift
may include a stage of private redefinition of the self as being independent from
the other, followed by a redefinition of the selves that occurs between the part-
ners. Lastly, a public stage of redefinition is completed with the couple’s family and
friends (Vaughan, 1986).
Some research has examined the trajectories of post- breakup as a series of “turn-
ing points.” Turning points are considered to be a valuable analytic tool, as they
indicate the commutative and developmental nature of the relationship (Baxter &
Bullis, 1986) and are able to describe a complex progression of the postdivorce pro-
cess (Graham, 1997). Two examples of these turning points in a postdivorce rela-
tionship are “well- functioning binuclear family” and “dysfunctional former spouse
relationship.” According to Graham (1997), these trajectories may be satisfying
or dissatisfying and are initiated, maintained, redefined, and formulated primar-
ily through communication. Although there are at least five different trajectories
post- divorce, the most frequently identified turning point was the well- functioning
binuclear family (Graham, 1997). This suggests that individuals made an effort to
have a relationship in which they could mutually define their new roles, successfully
coparent, and jointly address children’s needs. In postdissolution nonmarital rela-
tionships, on the other hand, Koenig Kellas, Bean, Cunningham, and Cheng (2008)
found that the most frequently reported turning point was a negative redefinition
of the relationship resulting from an argument, unrequited negative advances by an
ex- partner, or harassment. Positively redefining a relationship resulted from social
support, cathartic talks, and becoming friends (Koenig Kellas et al., 2008).