Romantic Relationship Termination 187Social Network
The process of uncoupling takes place in a social and cultural context (LaGaipa,
1982), and social networks are likely to be part of an individual’s change of iden-
tity following a breakup (Greif & Deal, 2012). For example, Kalmijn and Broese
van Groenou (2005) found that divorced individuals had more contact with their
friends than their married counterparts. The authors suggested that divorced indi-
viduals wanted to make up for the loss of their primary relationship by reestablish-
ing their social identity with others.
Although some family members may offer support of a postdissolution friend-
ship, others may negatively influence the relationship. Foley and Fraser (1998) offer
qualitative accounts of such rejection from families. For example, they describe one
individual whose parents, friends, and priest thought the relationship was a bad idea
and the individual’s family even threatened to withhold financial support for college.
A continued friendship under such conditions would be difficult. Some individu-
als may feel they need to end the friendship with their ex- partner to comply with
the social network because the network’s social support is a valuable resource after
a breakup (Greif & Deal, 2012). When ex- partners continue a friendship without
social approval, some resort to keeping their friendship secret because they fear the
social network’s condemnation (Foley & Fraser, 1998). Ultimately, the network’s
lack of support can discourage some partners from maintaining a friendship with
their ex- partner or further complicate remaining friends.
As noted, the social network does not always disapprove of ex- partner friend-
ships, and their support can facilitate the postdissolution friendship (Foley &
Fraser, 1998). Some network members might want the network to remain intact,
and supporting the ex- partners’ continued friendship might mean that they could
avoid choosing between them. Some network members might also support the
friendship in hopes that the couple will renew their romance, restoring the original
network structure. Whatever the specific reasons for the network to support the
friendship, their approval can help ex-partners navigate their new relationship status
on their own terms.
Nevertheless, ending a relationship with a partner who shares a social network
can be problematic. The greater the number of friends that ex- partners share, the
more interpersonal contact they have with each other post- dissolution (Lannutti &
Cameron, 2002). This network overlap constrains the types of tactics individuals
use to disengage from their relationships, perhaps in an attempt to avoid hostility
between each other if they remain connected through friends. Individuals with
large network overlap tend to use more positive tone and deescalation strategies to
disengage, expressing regret and empathy and leaving the prospect of a future rec-
onciliation open (Banks et al., 1987). Thus, individuals may take into consideration
that they will continue to see their ex- partners through their social network, and
employ strategies that demonstrate sensitivity to their partner’s feelings.