The Psychology of Friendship - Oxford University Press (2016)

(Brent) #1

188 Friendship and Conflict


New Partner


The presence of a new relationship partner can have a significant impact on a friend-
ship between former romantic partners. Individuals who begin a new romance are
less likely to remain friends with an ex- partner, and if they do remain friends, the new
romance has a negative impact on friendship quality (Brumbaugh & Fraley, 2014).
With the presence of a new partner, the ex- partners initiate contact less frequently
and have less overall contact, because the newly attached partners may no longer
need the benefits provided by communicating with former partners. They can obtain
such benefits from their new partners and they are less attached to their dissolved
relationship than the other partner. Therefore, it is likely that the less attached partner
will communicate less frequently (Foley & Fraser, 1998; Villella, 2010). Additionally,
despite the end of the romance, the abandoned ex- partner is more likely to favorably
view reconciliation and have a favorable implicit attitude toward his/ her ex- partner
until a new partner displaces that association (Imhoff & Banse, 2011). In turn, ex-
partners remain in each other’s lives because their roles are unfulfilled by someone
else. A new relationship partner can satisfy a partner’s need for intimacy and facilitate
the emotional detachment from the ex- partner (Spielmann, MacDonald, & Wilson,
2009), perhaps better than the mere passage of time (Imhoff & Banse, 2011).
Not all new relationships prompt former partners to sever ties with an ex- partner,
however, especially when the new relationship is initiated shortly after the dissolution.
Brumbaugh and Fraley (2014) found that individuals in a “rebound relationship,” a
relationship initiated before feelings for the former partner are resolved, reported a
greater degree of contact with a former partner than those who waited longer to date.
Furthermore, those who initiate relationships more quickly tend to compare their cur-
rent partner with their former partner more frequently, perhaps because perceiving
similarities between them may provide them with a sense of stability.
The new partner often tolerates his or her partner’s friendship with the ex- partner
if they perceive it as solely a friendship (Buunk & Mutsaers, 1999). Nevertheless,
other new partners may be wary that the relationship is only a friendship, given the
frequency of partner reconciliation (Dailey et al., 2011). Therefore, the new partner
may also encourage the termination of the friendship in an effort to cease their part-
ner’s emotional attachment to the ex- partner. Despite sometimes being an obstacle
to the ex- partner friendship, a new partner may be valuable in overcoming the disso-
lution of the romantic relationship, and individuals who begin to date demonstrate
greater emotional adjustment than those who remain single (Brumbaugh & Fraley,
2014; Imhoff & Banse, 2011; Rhoades, Dush, Atkins, Stanley, & Markman, 2011).


Presence of Children


Somewhat counterintuively, the presence of children from former romantic rela-
tionships is related to lower postbreakup friendship (Buunk & Mutsaers, 1999;

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