The Psychology of Friendship - Oxford University Press (2016)

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204 Friendship and Conflict


would be able to provide assistance in times of need (Bleske & Buss, 2000; Hall,
2011; Vigil, 2007).


Cross- Sex Friendships

Although less prevalent than same- sex friendships, cross- sex friendships have
recently received more attention from relationship researchers (Monsour, 2002).
Cross- sex friendships are similar to same- sex friendships in that they provide inti-
macy, companionship, and social and emotional support. Yet, they are different
from same- sex friendships in that they provide a window into the world of the other
sex, and in some sense are free of some of the competitive tendencies inherent in
same- sex friendships (Rawlins, 2009). In spite of such benefits, cross- sex friend-
ships inherently pose unique challenges for the individuals involved. More specifi-
cally, a distinguishing feature of the cross- sex friendships is that they can contain an
undercurrent of romantic and/ or sexual tension (Afifi & Faulkner, 2000). A friend’s
move to initiate a romantic involvement may be perceived as a relationship trans-
gression and elicit a negative reaction, leading to the dissolution or weakening of the
relationship (Bleske- Rechek et al., 2012). Samter and Cupach (1998) reported that
cross- sex friends were more likely than same- sex friends to report conflict about
friendship rule violations, miscommunication, and tension around the topic of sex-
ual or romantic intimacy. In particular, compared with women, men report more
attraction to their cross- sex friends (Bleske- Rechek et al., 2012) and perceive sexual
relations with them as more beneficial (Bleske & Buss, 2000). Not surprisingly, it
is more acceptable for women to express physical affection with a friend than it is
for men to do so (Felmlee et al., 2012). Werking (1997) found that in 48% of cases,
cross- sex friends terminated their friendship because the transition from friend-
ship to romantic relationship was unsuccessful. Fuhrman and colleagues (2009)
reported that behavior expectations for cross- sex friends were similar to, or lower
than those for same- sex friends. However, the findings of a second study indicated
that individuals not involved in a romantic relationship held higher expectations for
their cross- sex friends than for their same- sex friends. We now turn to the topic of
gender differences in revenge and forgiveness.


Gender Differences in Revenge and Forgiveness


Research on gender differences in revenge within close relationships typically indi-
cates that men are more vengeful than women (e.g., Brown 2004). Scholars have
reported that men and women differ in their moral reasoning when it comes to the
judgment of what constitutes an appropriate response to a relational transgression
( Jaffe & Hyde, 2000). Such findings are supported by theories that propose that
through socialization women are oriented to think about morality in terms of caring
for others and preserving relationships, whereas men’s sense of morality revolves

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