Transgression, Forgiveness, and Revenge 207this chapter points to the importance of considering both the gender of the indi-
vidual parties to the friendship (male vs. female) and the gender composition of
the friendship as a whole (same- sex vs. cross- sex friendships) in studies of forgive-
ness and revenge. But we know little or nothing, for example, about whether or how
sexual orientation or the number of parties to the friendship alters the dynamics
when wrongdoing occurs among friends.
Second, for reasons we do not entirely understand, the literatures on both for-
giveness and revenge have focused to a considerably greater degree on the victim/
avenger (i.e., the individual who was provoked) than on the transgressor/ avengee
(i.e., the provoking party and therefore the target of revenge). For example, in con-
trast to the considerable body of research examining those traits and dispositions
that predict a victim’s/ avenger’s responses to wrongdoing, we know comparatively
little about the personality dimensions that make a transgressor more or less “for-
givable” or an avengee more or less likely to elicit retaliation. This unfortunate gap
in our understanding seems destined to persist as long as researchers, through their
choice of research questions, continue to prioritize the perspectives and experi-
ences of victims/ avengers over those of transgressors/ avengees. Ultimately, stud-
ies that examine the perspectives and experiences of both (or all) victims/ avengers
and transgressors/ avengees within the friendship dyad (or network) would offer
the most complete insights into forgiveness/ revenge among friends.
Finally, we believe it will be important to conduct research that compares for-
giveness and revenge across different types of relationships (e.g., romantic relation-
ships, friendships, and family relationships) so we can explore the extent to which
variables and processes identified as important in one relationship context are
also important in other relationship contexts (e.g., Haden & Hojjat, 2006). Does
commitment play the same role in relation to offenses/provocations that occur in
friendships, for example, as it appears to play in relation to offenses/ provocations
that occur in romantic relationships? Do the power dynamics at play in family rela-
tionships result in marked differences in how situations involving transgressions/
provocations unfold in families versus friendships given that friendships are gener-
ally considered relationships between equals?
Conclusion
Demographic changes such as declining marriage rates and the consequent increase
in the number of people living as singles (DePaulo & Morris, 2005), in addition
to shifts in gender relations and patterns of family structure, have led some schol-
ars (e.g., Allan, 2008) to speculate that friendships might hold greater significance
in people’s lives in contemporary Western society than they ever have before. As
people spend more of their lives uncoupled, and as their freedom to define for
themselves the relationships that matter in their lives increases, the potential exists