Competition in Friendship 225may be constantly trying to outdo one another across situations. The former may be
benign to friendship; the latter might be more destructive. Second, future research
should continue to investigate the multidimensional nature of competition. We con-
tend that both the drive to outperform others and the drive to achieve mastery make
up an individual’s competitive motivation. If competitiveness is thought of only as
trying to outperform others and where winning is the only motivation, competition
would likely be associated with generally deleterious interpersonal outcomes. The
drive for excellence, on the other hand, is seen as having many virtues, and examin-
ing both aspects of competitiveness provides a more balanced perspective of the
role competition plays in friendship. Third, the influence of competition on friend-
ship needs to be examined throughout the life span within a cultural context. As we
have shown, most research stops at young adulthood. It would be interesting to see
whether friends in later adulthood continue to compete with one another, and, if so,
what the nature of that competition is. Perhaps with a lifetime of interpersonal expe-
riences behind them, older friends are better able to negotiate conflicts and manage
social comparison than children, adolescents, or even younger adults. Finally, the
role that culture plays in the transmission of competitive needs and motives should
be examined. Cross- cultural research on competition and friendship is severely
lacking, and researchers seeking to understand the interconnections between soci-
etal values, gender norms, and interpersonal relationships must begin to consider
the specific social and developmental contexts where competition takes place.
Conclusions
Reflecting on the example of the competition between the guitarists Dan and Steve
introduced at the beginning of this chapter, several issues regarding competition
and friendship become clear. First, the type of competition matters. Although Dan
and Steve were at first trying to “one- up” each other as musicians (competing to
win), they soon realized that the glory of one of them “winning” would result in hurt
feelings and perhaps eventually the breakup of the friendship. As they negotiated a
solution that would meet their agentic needs while maintaining their communal
connection, their competitiveness likely became more of a motivation to excel and
a pursuit of individual improvement. Second, the quality of the friendship matters.
As Sullivan (1953) and others have argued, close quality friendships foster interper-
sonal competencies such as the ability to effectively manage conflict. To the extent
that the friendship is a good one, Dan and Steve are likely able to handle any current
and future conflicts that may arise from competing with each other. Simply put,
in terms of friends competing with friends, it may be that the close get closer and
the distant just get more distant. Finally, culture matters. Although the research on
culture and competition between friends is scarce, there is no doubt that friend-
ships are initiated and maintained within a specific cultural framework. Friendship