An Echo, a Hurrah, and Other Reflections 289The Paradox of Friendship’s Upside and Downside
Our lives often have their upsides and their downsides. Friendships are no different.
For a full appreciation of friendship, it is important to consider both sides as well as
how these opposing properties can be understood within one phenomenon.
The Benefits of Friendships
A very prominent theme throughout this volume is that friendship is beneficial.
Holt- Lunstad is a key spokesperson for this theme. In her chapter she makes the
following points, which I quote:
- Having more and better relationships is associated with better physical health
and greater odds of survival, - There exists strong epidemiological evidence of a directional effect of relation-
ships on health ... being socially connected can be protective, - Having a larger number of friends improves physical and mental health,
- The overall magnitude of the [social connectedness] effect on risk for mortality was
comparable with and in many cases exceeds the effect of many well- established risk
factors for mortality. For instance, lacking social connectedness carries a risk equiva-
lent to smoking up to 15 cigarettes per day, and is greater than alcohol abuse, physi-
cal inactivity (sedentary lifestyle), obesity, and air pollution, among others, and - Close friendships give meaning in our lives and make us happier.
Whereas Holt- Lunstad focus on the health benefits of friendship, Erdley and Day
and King et al. dig into the psychological and mental health benefits. Erdley and
Day discuss how friendship is linked with being less likely to be lonely, depressed,
anxious, and/ or bullied, as well as with being high in self- esteem and school adjust-
ment. Overlapping some with Erdley and Day’s points, King et al. add other asso-
ciations between friendship and indicators of positive mental health (e.g., higher
psychosocial adjustment, higher quality of life).
Several other authors more briefly allude to the theme that friendships benefit
us physically and/ or mentally (e.g., Rawlins; Hojjat, Boon, & Lozano; Oswald) or
illuminate other aspects of this general theme. For example, Morrison and Cooper-
Thomas note organizational benefits of friendship: “Employees with a best friend
at work are seven times as likely to be engaged in their jobs; in addition they serve
customers better, have higher well- being, are more productive, and are less likely
to get injured on the job.” VanderDrift et al. identify how valuing and embedding a
strong friendship aspect in romantic relationships can benefit the romantic relation-
ship (e.g., in terms of dyadic satisfaction) and the lives of the romantic partners (e.g.,
life satisfaction). McConnell et al. summarize ways having relationships with com-
panion animals is connected to various psychological- type benefits in children and/
or adults (e.g., greater self- confidence, self- esteem, and autonomy; less fearfulness,