Elle UK May2020

It’searlyafternoon;thehouseis

empty.I’msittingatthekitchen

table,distractedwhenI should

befinishingapieceofwork,

laptopopenbutneglected.

I glanceattheclock.There’s

timestill,beforethatrushat2.45pm,whenI willthrow

biscuitsintoa Tupperwareboxanddashtotheschoolgate,

whereI willsmileandadmiremychildren’spaintingsand

smilemore,likea goodmother,asI ferrythemtoswimming

club.Untilthen,however,I’malone,distractedandhorny.

I am44.I havefivechildrenandI lovehavingsexwith

myhusband,buthe’sawayalot.SosometimesI watch

porn.I amsurelotsofmothers,andwomenwhoworkfrom

home,dotoo.Peopledon’ttellthetruthaboutit,though,

thewaytheydon’ttellthetruthaboutsex.Notwhatit’sreally

like.Whatit feelslikeinyourheart,orhowgoodorbadit

canfeelinyourbody,orhowit changestheinsideofyour

head,andhowit altersacrossthedecades.Wetelleach

otherliesaboutit,lyingthatone-nightstandsarea source

ofendlessorgasms,orthatalongterm-relationshipis

boring,orthatsexmustgrindtoa haltwhenadultsbecome

parents.Noneofthesethingshavetobetrue.Andgood

sex– howtofindit andmaintainit – isn’ta linearexperience.

Sometimes,thebestsexarriveswhenyouleastexpectit.

THE

RULES

OF

SEX DO

N OT

A P P LY

WHAT IF THE NARRATIVE WE’VE BEEN SOLD

ABOUT OUR LIBIDOS IS ALL WRONG? Clover Stroud

ROMPS THROUGH A SEX LIFE WELL-L IVED TO

DEMONSTRATE THE TRUTHS (AND LIES) OF FEMALE DESIRE

ELLE.COM/UK May 2020 83

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