SATURDAy, MARCH 21 , 2020. THE WASHINGTON POST eZ re C3
ACROSS
1 Cathartic
magnesium
compound
11 Bygone
Bulgarian
bigwig
15 Some drag
racers
16 Scott of
“A rrested
Development”
17 Comment
denying kinship
18 Bob Ross
painted
with one
19 Dog follower,
maybe
20 “Disturbia”
singer,
familiarly
21 Raise
22 “The Cocktail
Party”
monogram
23 Former Carson
Daly employer
24 Horn for Parker
26 Where to
find Ruth and
Aaron: Abbr.
27 West in old
movies
28 Small book size
30 Words that
contradict
what preceded
them
34 Perpetual loser
35 Game time?
36 Hydrocodone,
e.g.
37 “Too Many
Rappers”
rapper
38 Holstein’s hi?
39 “Flags of Our
Fathers” set-
ting, for short
41 Vegas
summer hrs.
42 Windy City
train org.
45 “Baywatch”
actor
47 Superman’s
mom
49 Physics Nobelist
the year after
Einstein
50 “Count on me!”
51 Came clean
53 “Aww!”
54 Source of some
long flows
55 Freezer aisle
brand
56 At riskDOWN
1 __ Blofeld,
Bond bad guy
2 Combines
3 Slope of loose
stones
4 Passed
5 Sideshow __ of
“The Simpsons”
6 Gave it
another go
7 When Prospero
says, “We are
such stuff /
As dreams are
made on”
8 Hideaway
9 Dix moins
sept
10 I-9 ID
11 Uphill aid
12 Sanctuary
13 Protection
from planes
14 Support
21 Does very well
23 Do the bare
minimum
25 Welk intro
words27 Mediterranean
country in
which English
is an official
language
29 Final purpose,
to Aristotle
30 Factor in
committee
assignments
31 Houston’s __
Stadium, namedfor an energy
company
32 Has too much,
briefly
33 Run a tab, say
34 Coffee, in diner
slang
35 Hockey
advantage
40 From days past
41 __ parade
42 Python pro43 Bronze ordinal
44 Like Ta os, say
46 Folks
48 Key of
Mozart’s
clarinet
concerto: Abbr.
49 Version to
debug
51 Sashimi
selection
52 Light knockLA TIMES CROSSWORD By Joe DeeneyFRIDAY’S LA TIMES SOLUTION© 2020 Tribune Content Agency, LLC. 3/21/20Carolyn Hax is
away. The
following first
appeared Nov.
23 and 30 and
Dec. 16, 2005.Dear Carolyn:
My mother-in-
law passed away
suddenly this year. After the
funeral, a drunk, grieving
family member let me know
that my MIL never liked me.
Looking back, it makes a lot
of sense — she was far from
the nightmare MIL some
people have, but she wasn’t
ever very nice or welcoming.
So, I have found myself
secretly relieved that I don’t
have to deal with her
anymore, but I’m dreading
helping my husband and the
rest of the family get through
his first holiday season
without his mom. How do you
come to peace with not liking
someone who is much loved
and no longer living?
— GuiltyGuilty: Well, you’re already
most of the way there: You
have the maturity to keep
your hurtful feelings private.
Which might be a trait your
husband found attractive
because it reminded him of
his mom.
She managed to dislike you
to the end of her days without
you ever being the wiser. Shewasn’t “very nice or
welcoming,” yes, but had she
been cuddly, then she would
have been a hypocrite.
Instead she was, apparently,
civil and discreet enough for
you not to notice that you
were the reason she needed
to make an effort to remain
civil and discreet.
Which brings us to the
point of this massive
rationalization: that you can
begin to find peace by finding
some good in her: “You
disliked me, but I can respect
how you handled it.”
Seriously. Tr y. Once you’ve
got the reconciliation out of
the way, even a grudging one,
you’ll be more willing to see
in her what the people who
loved her all saw. And, even
better, to see how she
produced a person you love.
And that’s how you get
through.Dear Carolyn: My ex
recently asked me if we could
remain friends. I don’t think
she wants me back or
anything, just wants to stay
in touch and maybe hang out
some. I can’t deal with
telling her I don’t want to be
her friend, so I am thinking
about blocking her emails
and screening her calls. Do
you think eventually she’ll
get the hint and stop
contacting me?
— AnonymousAnonymous: She’ll get the
hint, yes — along with the
distinct (and not inaccurate)
impression that you’re a
coward. You can either feel
bad about yourself or feel bad
about one awkward
conversation: “I’m sorry, I
can’t do this.” Take your pick.Dear Carolyn: I’ve been
dating a guy for almost a
year who seems to think it’s
okay to be either late for
dates or not show up at all,
which leaves me standing
around feeling like a moron.
I’ve asked him to call me
when he does this, but he
just laughs it off. Is there a
way to impress upon him
how incredibly rude this
“habit” is, other than the
numerous discussions we’ve
already had? (I did the same
thing to him but it didn’t
bother him.)
— AnonymousAnonymous: Dump him.
That will impress the
unacceptability of his
behavior upon the exact soul
who needs to see it: you.Write to carolyn Hax at
[email protected]. get her
column delivered to your inbox
each morning at wapo.st/haxpost. Join the discussion live at
noon fr idays at
live.washingtonpost.comA post-mortem revelation about MIL
Carolyn
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