Where did we go wrong? Adam
and Eve were blessed with every
delight in the world and still
craved more, so I suppose we’re
just taking after our ancestors
when we insist on abandoning
perfectly good things. As he did
Eden, God invented the humble
bar of soap, and in doing so, the
Almighty perfected the (carbon-
neutral) form: a self-contained
personal care product that
depleted with each use until,
exhausted, it finally melted into
the skin. The bar was as natural
as the sheen of a forearm, the
flush of a cheek. The bar was us.
But that was not enough. The
bar was boiled down, packaged,
tortured into submission. We
wanted our face washes to
foam. We wanted them pumped
into our open palms, smelling
like gardenias, and pH-
balanced! And then, inconve-
niently, our planet started to die,
faster than we could compre-
hend. Now we, God’s prodigal
children, stumble through the
flames, for we knew our savior
all along. We return, once more,
to the bar.
The bar welcomes us, offers
itself up in new and exciting forms,
as a deep conditioner (Ethique’s
hair masks), a brightening face
cleanser (Erno Laszlo White
Marble Treatment Bar, a classic
that has traded its plastic dish for
parchment wrapping), and a
luxury hand soap that is pleasing
to look at (D.S. & Durga Iso E
Soaper). We fall into its soapy
embrace. Once again, we are
saved. —BRENNAN KILBANE
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LABEL CHECK
What it really means when
you read...
BIODEGRADABLE
Defined as a “substance or object that is
capable of being decomposed by bacteria
or other living organisms.” But there’s
no specific time limit (even plastic will
break down in a few thousand years), and
most landfills don’t have enough oxygen
to get the job done.
COMPOSTABLE
A biodegradable material that will break
down in about 90 days, creating zero
soil toxicity in the process. Unfortunately,
you’ll probably need an industrial
composter (not just your backyard
compost heap) to make this happen.
OCEAN-WASTE PLASTIC
Plastic culled from the giant heap of trash
floating around in the earth’s oceans. (Not
to be confused with ocean-bound
plastic, which is culled from shorelines.)
POSTCONSUMER RECYCLED PLASTIC
The stuff that actually made it from a
store shelf to someone’s home to the
correct bin to a sorting facility to another
manufacturer, who melted it down and
made something new (usually with virgin
plastic added), which is now back on
a shelf. Most plastics can only be recycled
once or twice.
POLYETHYLENE TEREPHTHALATE
Aka PET, PETE, or plastic #1. Most
cosmetic packaging falls under this
umbrella, and many recycling programs
accept it (if it’s free of trace product).
POLYVINYL CHLORIDE
PVC, or plastic #3. While it’s true that this
plastic is recyclable, it’s a difficult process
that is seldom carried out. The material
is commonly found in plumbing pipes
and often used to make luxuriously heavy
moisturizer jars.
RECYCLABLE
The FTC says a product can claim
little-green-triangle status if just 60
percent of people who buy that product
live in a place that could recycle it.
ZERO-WASTE
This tends to mean that the product it
describes is able to be completely reused,
recycled, or composted—not that it will
be. (Are you really using your old cleanser
bottle as a plant mister?)
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