Chapter 3 Verbal Communication 71when Abby’s boyfriend suggests sharing an apartment
next semester, Abby changes the subject to avoid admit-
ting that she’s uncomfortable taking that step.
Using Language to Express Creativity
What do Katniss Everdeen, George Michael Bluth,
Wonder Woman, and Sherlock Holmes have in com-
mon? Each is the product of the imagination of a writer
or storyteller. And regardless of whether they were con-
ceptualized as part of a novel, comic book, screenplay, or
television series, each character and his or her story are
primarily expressed through language.
Imagining is probably the most complex functional
competency. It is the ability to think, play, and be creative
in communication. Children imagine by pretending to
be a superhero. Adults imagine, too. The way a song is
worded, the way a play is scripted, and the way special
effects coordinate with the message delivered in a film—
these all stem from imagination. On the job, imagining is the ability to use language
to convey a vision for a project to your coworkers (such as architects explaining
blueprints and models). In a debate, imagining enables you to think ahead of your
opponent, to put words to each side of an argument, and to use language in logical
and convincing ways.
Using Language as Ritual
When little Josie says “thank you” for her cookie, it’s a sign that she is learning
the fifth functional competency: ritualizing. Ritualizing involves the rules for
managing conversations and relationships. We begin learning these rules as chil-
dren: peekaboo games require us to learn turn-taking in conversations. When
we learn to say “hi” or “bye-bye” or “please,” we internalize politeness rituals.
In adulthood, ritualizing effectively means saying and doing the “right” thing
at weddings, funerals, dinners, athletic events, and other social gatherings. Simple
exchanges, like telling a bride and groom “congratulations” or offering condolences
to a grieving friend, are some ways we ritualize language. However, our ritualizing
is not always that formal, nor is it limited to big events. In our everyday lives we
use ritual comments to support one another in relationships, such as “Have a great
day, Honey!” “You’re going to nail that speech” or even just “I’ll text you later... .”
Language and Meaning
Imagine three-year-old Damon sitting in a house of worship with his parents. He’s
having a great time banging his stuffed toys around until his mother grabs them
away during a silent part of the service. Clearly upset, Damon calls her a nasty
name. Mom’s face turns bright red, and she escorts Damon out to the car. Damon
associated his language with the concept of being unhappy; he was upset about
Mom taking his toys, so he uttered the same word he had probably heard a family
member use when unhappy with someone.
WHILE A TOAST might
be the perfect way to wish
a couple happiness at their
wedding shower, in the film
Bridesmaids Annie and Helen
inappropriately use it as an
opportunity to compete for
the role of best friend to the
bride. Suzanne Hanover/© Universal
Pictures/Courtesy Everett Collection