Real Communication An Introduction

Chapter 3  Verbal Communication 73

very different reactions (including possibly offending people). Spouse may have a
positive connotation in some situations, such as in legal paperwork or a gender-
neutral invitation (“spouses welcome”). But in a personal introduction, it may
come across negatively, as too formal and lacking affection. Connotative reactions
also depend on the people you’re speaking to and your relationship to them—the
same word may make your friends laugh but anger your family members.
Subtle differences in word meaning can even change your entire interpre-
tation of an event. For example, your grandfather offers to give you $10,000
at your college graduation if you graduate with honors. Is his offer a bribe, a
reward, or an incentive? How you and others perceive and process his offer
depends on the meaning associated with the language used. You may resent
your grandfather if you consider the money a bribe, feel proud if you earn your
reward, or feel motivated by the incentive.

Abstraction

Language operates at many levels of abstraction, ranging from very vague to very
specific. You might talk in such broad, vague terms that no one knows what you
are staying (“Stuff is cool!”), or you can speak so specifically that people may think
you are keeping notes for a court case against them: “I saw you at 10:32 p.m. on
Friday, January 29, at the right-hand corner table of Harry’s Bar with a six-foot-
tall, brown-haired man wearing black jeans, boots, and a powder blue T-shirt.”
The abstraction ladder (Hayakawa, 1964) illustrates the specific versus gen-
eral levels of abstraction (see Figure 3.1). The top rungs of the ladder are high-level

“You’re useless.”

“You never help out around the house.”

“You keep forgetting to do your chores.”

“The trash wasn’t emptied last night, and

it’s your job to do that.”

“I noticed you didn’t take out the trash

in the kitchen, the bathroom, or the bedroom.

You agreed that taking out the trash

every Monday and Thursday evening

would be your job.”

Higher

ABSTRACTIONS

Lower

“I ti d did ’t t k t th t h

FIGURE 3.1

THE ABSTRACTION

LADDER