98 Part 1 Basic Communication Processesrealize your nonverbal behavior is giving you away. Other times,
contradicting behavior is intentional. For instance, Caroline sighs
deeply to get Andy to ask, “What’s wrong?” She can keep the atten-
tion coming by refusing to answer or by tersely stating, “Nothing.”
Although such tactics can get another person’s attention, they’re
deceptive because they take advantage of the person’s concern in
order to serve selfish purposes.
Contradicting behavior is also part of what makes joking
around, teasing, and the use of sarcasm (cutting remarks) so power-
ful. When you roll your eyes and say, “Wow, that was a captivating
lecture,” you let your classmate know that, despite your words, you
found listening to your professor about as interesting as vacuuming.
Contradicting behavior can work positively as well. For instance,
your friend calls to your beloved dog, “Come here, you smelly, ugly
little monster!” Your friend’s smile, high pitch, and open arms reveal
that your friend really thinks your dog is adorable.Managing Impressions and Regulating Interactions
Nonverbal cues are used to manage the impressions and regulate interactions
of communicators in a variety of relationships and situations (Cappella & Sch-
reiber, 2006). This interaction management function occurs from the first time
you meet someone and continues throughout the life span of your relationship.
For example, you dress professionally for a job interview; your smile, firm hand-
shake, and friendly tone convey your sincerity as you say, “This sounds like a
wonderful organization to work for.” The hiring manager’s smiles and nods—or
frowns and silence—in turn influence your behaviors back to her (Keating,
2006). Should you get the job, your nonverbal behaviors help you manage a
tense situation with your boss by keeping a respectful distance and lowering your
tone of voice. Additionally, nonverbal behavior (like smiles, eye contact, and so
on) helps you manage your ongoing, everyday interactions with coworkers.
Nonverbal cues are also used in coordinating verbal interaction at the level
of conversation—they help us regulate the back-and-forth flow of communica-
tion. For example, if you pause after saying “Hello” when answering your phone,
you are offering the person on the other end a chance to self-identify and explain
the purpose of the call. Face to face, you may hold your hand up while speak-
ing to signal that you don’t want to be interrupted or gesture broadly to indicate
continued excitement about your topic (Cutica & Bucciarelli, 2011). Addition-
ally, raising your hand in a face-to-face classroom setting lets your professor
know that you have a question or information to share.
If conversational regulation doesn’t go smoothly, there can be negative
consequences. For example, if you successfully interrupt others when they are
speaking, you may gain influence, but they may like you less. On the other
hand, if you allow interruptions, others may perceive you as less influential
(Farley, 2008). Naturally, the situational context plays a role. It’s more serious
to interrupt (or be interrupted) during a debate or a business meeting, whereas
some interruption is acceptable during casual conversations with friends. Match-
ing your regulation behaviors to those of your partner makes interactions go
smoothly (Schmidt, Morr, Fitzpatrick, & Richardson, 2012).Imagine that you are listen-
ing to a friend tell a long
story in a face-to-face set-
ting. How might you regulate
the interaction to show that
you’re listening or that you’d
like to interject a comment?
Would these actions change
if the conversation were
taking place via instant mes-
saging or in a chat room?
How so?AND YOU?
A SMELLY, ugly little
monster? Certainly not.