146 Part 1 Basic Communication Processes
others and to show a shared group identity (Gallois, Franklyn-Stokes, Giles, &
Coupland, 1988). Convergence usually results in positive reactions, because if I
speak like you, it is a way of saying “I am one of you.”
Accommodation is not an absolute, all-or-nothing goal: usually, it involves
making small efforts to show that you respect others’ cultural and communi-
cation behaviors, and you appreciate their efforts to communicate with you.
Ramon makes efforts to speak English when he greets his customers at the
restaurant where he works, even though it is not his native language and he
struggles with it at times. Conversely, many of his regular customers who do
not speak Spanish will greet him with the Spanish words they do know (“¡Hola,
Ramon! ¡Buenos dias!”) and thank him for their meal (“¡Gracias!”).
However, it is important to be careful not to overaccommodate, which
means going too far in changing your language or changing your language based
on an incorrect or stereotypical notion of another group (Harwood & Giles,
2005). For example, senior citizens often find it patronizing and insulting when
younger people speak “down” to them (slow speech, increase volume, and use
childish words) (Harwood, 2000). For Ramon, if his customers were to speak
slowly and loudly, or in poorly mangled attempts to communicate in Spanish,
Ramon might think they were making fun of him.Practice Your Skills
Communicators need to use verbal and nonverbal behaviors effectively and
appropriately to attain goals and get along in intercultural situations. Sometimes
this literally means using the language of another culture well enough to com-
municate effectively. Sometimes it simply means communicating your interest
and appreciation for another person’s life experiences and point of view (Chen
& Starosta, 1996). Communicators with fewer social skills have more difficulty
managing the “different” interactions that intercultural situations demand, so it
is important to develop the following skills (Arasaratnam, 2007).ALTHOUGH SQUATTING to speak at eye level with a
child is an appropriate accommodation, a senior adult may
perceive this behavior as patronizing. Sitting may be more
respectful. (left) PhotoAlto/Eric Audras/Getty Images; (right) Clarissa Leahy/
Getty Images