Real Communication An Introduction

Chapter 6  Listening 155

Responding involves generating feedback or reactions that let others know
you’ve received and understood their message. So when Brett wonders if he
should talk to his professor and you say, “Sounds like you think it’s the best
course of action given the importance of this exam for your grade,” it lets him
know that you fully comprehend his concern.
Motivated listeners choose to select, attend, understand, remember, and
respond—and we call them active listeners. Passive listeners fail to make those
choices; they may misinterpret messages, ignore them altogether, or need information
and instructions repeated for them. Passive listeners are often regarded as less compe-
tent by the people around them. After all, you probably wouldn’t pour your heart out
to someone who seems more interested in watching TV than listening to you.
The goal, then, is listening fidelity: the match of our thoughts and another
person’s thoughts and intentions through communication (Beard, 2009; Fitch-Hauser,
Powers, O’Brien, & Hanson, 2007; Powers & Bodie, 2003). Active listening plays
an important role in achieving this goal.

Personal Listening Preferences

Each day, you spend a lot of time listening to your professors, other students,
family members, and friends—more time than you spend reading or writing (as
shown in Figure 6.1). Using technology can fuse these categories; for example,
when you’re reading a post that your friend wrote on your Facebook timeline,
you’re also “listening” to the message your friend is conveying. Clearly, listening
will remain a vital communication skill no matter how technology continues to
evolve (Janusik & Wolvin, 2009).
But how, exactly, are you listening? Four distinct preferences, or styles,
emerge when it comes to listening—regardless of whether the communication is
face to face or through technology (Barker & Watson, 2000; Villaume & Bodie,
2007; Watson, Barker, & Weaver, 1995):

TIME COMMUNICATING

Listening

24%

Speaking

20%

Internet use

13%

Writing

9%

TV

watching

8%

Reading

Phone 8%

use 7%

E-mail 5%

Listening

to music 4%

Radio 2%

FIGURE 6.1

TIME COMMUNICATING

Time spent by college

students in communication

activity, including personal

computer time, multitasking,

weekday and weekend time

with work, family, friends, and

school. Listening to mediated

communication channels

comprises the most time.

Source: Janusik & Wolvin, 2009.