Chapter 6 Listening 159they could have avoided the costly fiasco if they had
listened to their customers in the first place (Wiesen-
feld, Bush, & Sikdar, 2010).
Effective Listening Creates
Opportunities
Good listeners don’t just avoid mistakes; they also find
opportunities that others might miss. A real estate agent
who listens to what a young couple is looking for in
their first home and comprehends their financial con-
straints will more likely find them the right home. An
entrepreneur who listens to fellow diners at a popular
restaurant complain that no place in town serves veg-
etarian fare might find an opportunity for a new busi-
ness. Even writing a textbook like the one you are reading involves listening. As
authors, we must listen to our peers (who help us decide what topics and schol-
arship to include), to students (who help us identify what examples and issues
in the manuscript are most relevant), and to our editors (who help us make the
material more clear and engaging).
Effective Listening Strengthens Relationships
Have you ever had a friend who just talked about himself or herself without ever
allowing you to share your own thoughts or concerns? Does your roommate or a
colleague send text messages or update Facebook while you’re talking? They may
be hearing, but they’re almost certainly not listening. And your relationship may
be suffering as a result.
In new relationships, the partners must listen competently to learn more
about each other; failure to do this usually results in less attraction and more
negative emotions (Knobloch & Solomon, 2002). As your relationships progress,
listening remains a top priority. For example, you are more likely to self-disclose
to a friend you think is listening to you. Similarly, you can significantly reduce
your partner’s stress in a challenging situation by letting him or her talk through
difficult events while you listen actively (Lewis & Manusov, 2009). Even when a
friend verbally “ruminates”—talks over and over again about the same issues—
listening supportively can help the person feel more satisfied with the friendship
(Afifi, Afifi, Merrill, Denes, & Davis, 2013).
Effective Listening Accomplishes Your Goals
A court stenographer depends on specialized listening skills to record court
proceedings accurately. But is he listening differently than, say, the judge or the
jury? Does he listen the same way when he is watching a movie, reading Twitter
posts, or chatting with friends? Probably not, as each listening situation involves
achieving different types of goals. In the sections that follow, we discuss the
different ways in which we listen to accomplish our goals and desires. In some
HOW WILL your real
estate agent help you find
your dream home if he
doesn’t listen to and
comprehend your desire for
high ceilings and hardwood
floors? Juice Images/Punchstock/
Getty Images