Real Communication An Introduction

Chapter 6  Listening 161

type of listening when considering a big financial pur-
chase, like a car. Don bought his last car from a friend
of a friend and failed to ask enough questions about
the vehicle’s history. If he’d listened more critically, he
would have learned the car had been in two accidents.
Critical thinking is a necessary component of criti-
cal listening. When you think critically, you assess the
speaker’s motivation, credibility, and accuracy (Has she
presented all the facts? Is the research current?), and eth-
ics (What does she stand to gain from this?). Four tips
can help you improve your critical listening abilities:

c Determine the thesis or main point of the speaker’s

message. This isn’t always easy, particularly if the

speaker is rambling on and on without making

a point. But you can watch for key words and

phrases like “What I’m trying to say.. .” or “The

issue is.. .” or “Okay, here’s the deal.. .”

c Focus your efforts. Listening is sometimes hard work. You might need to store

up energy. For example, don’t head into your three-hour large group lec-

ture after working out or frantically finishing a paper. You may also need to

concentrate and avoid distractions.

c Decode nonverbal cues. As you learned in Chapter 4, nonverbal behavior

communicates volumes of information. Your friend might reveal sadness

or anger in ways that don’t come across in his verbal message; your profes-

sor might hint at information that will be on a test by sharing it slowly and

loudly or repeating it.

c Use your memory. If you’re in a lecture or on a job interview, note-taking can
help jog your memory of what was said. If you’re listening to a classmate share
concerns about a group project, note-taking might be awkward, so try to make
mental associations with her words. For example, if she says, “Benjamin’s too
controlling,” you might think “bossy Benjamin” to remember her complaint.

Empathic Listening

When we engage in empathic listening, we try to feel how another person feels.
Getting in touch with our own thoughts and feelings is a first step (Wolvin,
2010), but empathic listeners must use this self-knowledge to create a frame-
work that recognizes that the feelings and thoughts of others are probably not
identical to their own. Empathic listening requires openness, sensitivity, and
caring—and the display of nonverbal immediacy behaviors (see Chapter 4)
(Bodie & Jones, 2012).
Through empathic listening, we can provide emotional support for someone
in need or comfort someone when tragedy or disappointment strikes (Bodie,
Vickery, & Gearhart, 2013; Gearhart & Bodie, 2011). This is particularly
important in medical situations. Doctors, nurses, and other health care providers
must listen compassionately to the seriously ill. They need to determine the
mental and emotional state of the patients and their families to decide how

WHEN MODERN

FAMILY parents Claire and

Phil Dunphy sit their children

down for a family meeting or

lecture, Haley, Alex, and Luke

must listen more comprehen-

sively than they would during

casual, everyday interactions

with Mom and Dad. ABC/

Photofest

CONNECT

As you assess the credibility

of a speaker (Chapters 15

and 16), you are critically

listening. You focus,

evaluate words and presen-

tation style, and determine

the main points. A critical

listener listens to what the

speaker doesn’t say, too;

for example, did the speech

about oil seepage on the

coast account for natural

seepage as well as that

from oil platforms?