168 Part 1 Basic Communication Processesfear, or dread associated with a listening opportunity.
Listening to your boss reprimand you about your
job performance, listening to someone else’s personal
problems, or listening to highly detailed or statistical
information can trigger listening apprehension, which
compromises your ability to concentrate on or remem-
ber what is said (Ayres, Wilcox, & Ayers, 1995).
Students with high listening anxiety have lower
motivation to process information in the classroom,
which can affect their overall academic performance
(Schrodt, Wheeless, & Ptacek, 2000). So it is impor-
tant to assess your ability to listen effectively and
to spend time developing your listening confidence.
What do you think about your own listening appre-
hension? You may have a better idea after you com-
plete the self-assessment on page 156.The Ethics of Listening
As with other communication activities, you have ethical choices to make with
listening situations. Some choices are positive and constructive, leading to more
effective listening situations overall. Other choices are less competent; you don’t
accomplish your own personal or relational goals—and don’t contribute any-
thing to the goals of others. Consider the ethics of defensive, selective, and selfish
listening as you evaluate the following listening behaviors (Beard, 2009; Gehrke,
2009; Lipari, 2009).Defensive Listening
In the romantic comedy-drama He’s Just Not That Into You, Gigi repeatedly mis-
interprets the behavior of her romantic partners and ignores the advice of her
friends. They communicate with her through words and nonverbal behaviors,
but she fails to listen and process them effectively. Instead, Gigi constantly makes
up excuses to defend herself in order to fend off her feelings of rejection. Gigi is
guilty of defensive listening, arguing with the speaker (sometimes with aggres-
sion) without fully listening to the message. Although defensive listening is an
understandable response when there is a history of disrespect or aggression, it is
not productive because defensive responses frequently beget defensive comments.
We’ve all been in situations where someone seems to be confronting us about
an unpleasant topic. But if you respond with aggressiveness and argue before com-
pletely listening to the speaker, you’ll experience more anxiety, probably because
you anticipate not being effective in the listening encounter (Schrodt & Wheeless,
2001). If you find yourself listening defensively, consider the tips shown in Table 6.2.Selective Listening
When you zero in only on bits of information that interest you, disregarding
other messages or parts of messages, you are engaging in selective listening. At
times this may be beneficial, as when you decide to ignore your sister’s commentALEX TRIES to be helpful
in offering Gigi candid advice
about her romantic troubles,
but her defensive response
deters him from sharing his
opinion in the future. © New
Line Cinema/Courtesy Everett Collection
CONNECT
Selective listening can
also be influenced by our
attributions—personal
characteristics we use
to explain other people’s
behavior. If you believe
that your classmate Lara
is lazy, you may listen only
to messages that support
your attribution. Com-
petent communicators
avoid selective listening by
verifying their perceptions,
seeking thoughtful expla-
nations, and moving past
first impressions in order to
understand communication
partners (Chapter 2).