Real Communication An Introduction

184 Part 2  Interpersonal Communication

OPRAH WINFREY AND
GALE KING’S decades-long
friendship illustrates the
benefits and joys that can
result from a close, caring
relationship. Frazer Harrison/Getty
Images for AFI

Friendship and Social Relationships

As individuals grow and interact with people outside their families, they estab-

lish new, nonfamily relationships. Friendship is a close and caring relationship

between two people that is perceived as mutually satisfying and beneficial.

Friendship benefits include emotional support, companionship, and coping with

major life stressors (Rawlins, 1992, 2008). Children who form successful friend-

ships with others perform better academically and demonstrate fewer aggres-

sive tendencies than those who do not (Doll, 1996; Hartup & Stevens, 1997;

Newcomb & Bagwell, 1995; Rawlins, 1994; Weisz & Wood, 2005). And secure,

stable friendships and family relationships serve to enhance children’s ability to

process communication behaviors (Dwyer et al., 2010).

Although everyone has a personal opinion as to what qualities a friend should

possess, research finds agreement on six important characteristics of friendship

(Pearson & Spitzberg, 1990): availability (making time for one another), caring

(expressing concern for well-being), honesty (being open and truthful), trust

(being honest and maintaining confidentiality), loyalty (maintaining the relation-

ship despite disagreements), and empathy (communicating understanding of feel-

ings and experiences). The extent to which friends share these characteristics helps

build the relational context of their relationship (see Chapter 1).

Some of the relationships you call “friendships” might actually be more

accurately described as social relationships, relationships that are functional

within a specific context but are less intimate than friendship. For example,

you may have casual work pals with whom you can complain about your

boss, people with whom you socialize via your ragtag pick-up hockey team,

or a hair stylist you love to visit so that you can engage in celebrity gossip (see

As you learn about inter-
personal relationships,
remember the competent
communication model
from Chapter 1. There is
no one right way to com-
municate with friends,
family, or romantic part-
ners because competent
communication considers
relational, situational, and
cultural contexts. You may
feel comfortable sharing
personal information with
your father; your friend
Julie may not. You and
your significant other may
develop a communication
style that simply wouldn’t
work for your brother and
his girlfriend.

Asyoulearnaboutinter

CONNECT