194 Part 2 Interpersonal Communication
Assessing the Costs and Rewards of a RelationshipThink of a current romantic relationship (or, if you are not in one now, think of a past
one). As you assess your partner’s traits and behaviors, use a five-point scale for your
answers: 5 = strongly agree; 4 = agree; 3 = neither agree nor disagree; 2 = disagree; and
1 = extremely disagree.1. My partner laughs at my jokes.
2. My partner makes appropriate jokes or comments.
3. My partner is physically attractive to me.
4. My partner is affectionate.
5. My partner wears clothes I like.
6. My partner has a pleasing personality.
7. My partner and I have similar views about religion.
8. My partner and I have similar views about children.
9. My partner shares emotions appropriately.
10. My partner acknowledges my feelings.
11. My partner fits in with my friends.
12. My partner fits in with my family.
13. My partner and I share similar dreams for the future.
14. My partner enjoys hobbies and activities similar to mine.
15. My partner and I agree about career paths.
16. My partner appreciates my racial and ethnic background.
17. My partner manages finances well.
18. My partner appreciates my political views.
19. My partner overlooks my shortcomings.
20. My partner is an interesting person.
Scoring: Add your scores together to get an informal assessment of how reward-
ing or costly you perceive your relationship to be. If you scored between 74 and 100,
you perceive your relationship as very rewarding on a number of levels and are likely
to value and maintain this relationship; if you scored 47–73, you see both costs and
rewards in your relationship and are able to balance these effectively; if you scored
20–46, you perceive your relationship as having more costs than rewards, and you
might consider ways to fix or end it.
Note: The importance of certain costs and rewards varies greatly from individual to individual, so
the weighting of particular traits (for example, physical attraction or similarity of views) may vary.what about you?