Real Communication An Introduction

Chapter 7  Developing and Maintaining Relationships 199

what information to disclose to others and when has long fascinated com-
munication researchers and scholars who note that it is informed by issues
as complex as personality type and individual tendencies (Hesse & Rauscher,
2013), situational and relational variables (Frisby & Sidelinger, 2013), and
culture (Chen & Nakazawa, 2012). Keeping these variations in mind, we now
examine the ways in which the decisions to divulge or withhold personal infor-
mation affect relationships.

Social Penetration Theory

In many relationships, a primary goal is to increase intimacy, or relational close-
ness. Social penetration theory (SPT) explains how partners move from super-
ficial levels to greater intimacy (Altman & Taylor, 1973). SPT uses an onion
as a metaphor to describe how relationships move through various stages:
just as you might peel off layers of an onion in an attempt to reach the
core or center, a relational partner attempts to reach the most intimate
thoughts and feelings at the other partner’s “core” (see Figure 7.2).
According to SPT, each layer contains information that is increas-
ingly more private and therefore more risky to divulge to someone else.
The outer layer represents aspects of the self that are obvious, such as
our appearance, or are surface-level revelations, such as our social cat-
egories (male, college student, Texan). Successive layers become more
private as partners assess the costs and benefits of the relationship
and of disclosing information to each other. If costs exceed rewards, it is
unlikely that the partners will move inward toward the more deeply concealed
layers. Upon getting to know Jorge, for example, you might find that despite his
boisterous exterior, he sometimes suffers from serious bouts of depression, which
he manages with medication. But Jorge must choose to reveal this information:
it is a part of him that only his closest, most trusted friends know, and he’s likely
to reveal it only as a relationship becomes more intimate.

Communication Privacy Management

Communication privacy management theory (CPM) helps explain how
people perceive the information they hold about themselves and whether they
will disclose or protect it (Petronio, 2000, 2002). CPM explains why Celeste,
for example, will boldly share her religious beliefs, whereas Eddie will keep his
faith intensely private. CPM theory presumes that people believe they own their
private information and need to set up boundaries to control the potential risks
that may make them vulnerable (Petronio, 2004).
Two key features of relationships are central to privacy management.
First, privacy management is affected by the dialectical tension of openness
versus closedness, discussed earlier. You want to share information in order to
increase intimacy with your partner, but it may be risky to do so, and main-
taining private information is a worthy goal in its own right. Second, privacy
management requires cultural, situational, and relational rules or expectations
by which people must be willing to abide. For example, it would likely be con-
sidered impolite for you to ask your boss about his medical condition because

Depth

Brea

dth

FIGURE 7.2

SOCIAL PENETRATION

THEORY (SPT) MODEL

According to the SPT model,

relational partners peel away

successive layers of informa-

tion about each other as they

move toward greater intimacy.

Do you post any personal

information on social net-

working sites? What kind

of information are you will-

ing to reveal? What kind

of information do you con-

sider too private to share in

mediated contexts?

AND YOU?