200 Part 2 Interpersonal Communication
NAME: May Hui
OCCUPATION: Entrepreneur/MatchmakerAs a self-professed
romantic, I love bring-
ing people together.
So, after years of being
a sales, marketing, and operations executive for
a Fortune 500 company, I decided to start my
own business to help people with the often chal-
lenging dating process.
CatchMatchmaking is not your average
dating service; my partner and I use relational
communication principles to help singles find
a “match” and potentially develop a commit-
ted relationship. We create articles and YouTube
videos to teach our clients the basics of interper-
sonal communication. This might seem surpris-
ing, but a lot of people don’t know what to do
on a date; either they haven’t had a lot of dating
experience or they have had relationships that
“went bad” and are afraid of another failure. After
we give them advice and coach them, however,
they gain confidence and present themselves
better. Here’s how we do it.
First, we interview clients about their
answers to questionnaires they complete online.
Like most dating services, we match couples
according to preferences for religion, height,
income level, common interests, goals, and val-
ues. But we find that the profiles people create
are often so scripted; they might say they are
adventurous, but when we follow up about their
activities, they may not mean that in the same
way that a “match” might (for example, adven-
turous = climbing Mt. Everest or adventurous =
traveling to another town). We go beyond theadjectives to discover that what clients frequently
do, how they behave, and what they really want
in a “match” are not what they filled out on their
questionnaire.
Second, we coach our clients on the basics
of self-presentation. Being nicely dressed and
groomed shows your date that you care enough
to make yourself attractive. Nonverbal behaviors
(making eye contact, leaning in, softening tone of
voice, smiling) show warmth and interest in the
other person.
Third, we help them overcome awkward
dating conversations. In the beginning of a rela-
tionship, it is important to ask your partner a lot
of questions and get him or her talking. After all,
whoever talks more usually says the date was
great, so sometimes it is important to talk less
about yourself and do more to discover details
about the other person. It is also important to
self-disclose appropriately; sex, religion, and
politics are not the best topics for a first date.
Neither are past relationships; if your date asks
what happened with your last relationship, don’t
complain about your past partner or give a bunch
of gory details. Instead say, “Yes, I had a relation-
ship that didn’t work out, but I learned something
and moved on.” You can save more details for
the third, fourth, and fifth dates.
I absolutely love what I am doing, particularly
on days when I hear that two clients have become
engaged! The communication classes I took are
key to the way I run my organization, and the
interpersonal courses are key to the success of
my business that brings me so much joy.real communicator
that topic is far too private for a work context in many cultures, and you are
unlikely to have that level of personal intimacy with your manager. Yet that type
of disclosure is expected in close relationships (Derlega, Winstead, Mathews,
& Braitman, 2008).