Real Communication An Introduction

Chapter 7  Developing and Maintaining Relationships 203

Exploratory Stage

In the exploratory stage, you are seeking relatively superficial information from
your partner. You make small talk, asking things like “Were you a fan of Break-
ing Bad?” or “How many brothers and sisters do you have?” You’re not likely to
reveal anything too deep or personal; you’re still testing the waters, so to speak.
A number of monitoring strategies are also at work to reduce uncertainty in this
stage. In addition to the small-talk questioning we mentioned, you’re likely to
observe your partner closely in order to learn more about his or her attitudes and
behaviors. As in the initiating stage, you’ll want to invest further in the relation-
ship if the rewards seem high.

Intensification Stage

The intensification stage occurs when relational partners become increasingly
intimate and move their communication toward more personal self-disclosures.
This stage includes the use of informal address or pet names (“honey,” “darling”)
as well as “we” talk (“We’re going to the concert on Friday night, right?” “Where
are we going for your birthday next week?”). Relational partners in this stage also
understand each other’s nonverbal communication to a greater degree and often
share their affection with one another (“What would I do without you!”) (Knapp
& Vangelisti, 2000).

Stable Stage

By the time partners reach the stable stage, their relationship is no longer vola-
tile or temporary. They now have a great deal of knowledge about one another,
their expectations are realistic, and they feel comfortable with their motives for
being in the relationship. Relationships reach the stable stage when uncertainty
reduces to the point where partners feel comfortable understanding each other’s
preferences and goals (Goss & O’Hair, 1988).

INITIATING

TERMINATION

RECONCILIATION

REPAIR

EXPLORATORY

INTENSIFICATION

• Integrating


• Bonding
  
  
  • Uncertainty events
  
  
  • Interference
  
  
  • Unmet expectations
  
  
  
  

Higher

INTIMACY

Lower

STABLE

DECLINING

FIGURE 7.3

TYPICAL STAGES OF A

RELATIONSHIP It is normal

to move between and among

stages in different relation-

ships as we become more or

less intimate with others.