239A Study Tool
Now that you have finished reading this chapter, you can:Describe the factors that lead to productive conflict:
c Conflict is a negative interaction between interde-
pendent people, rooted in disagreement (p. 214).
c Conflict management refers to how relational
partners address disagreements (p. 214).
c Unproductive conflict is conflict that is managed
poorly and that has a negative impact (pp. 214–215).
c Productive conflict is healthy and managed
effectively. It fosters healthy debate, leads to better
decision-making, and spurs relationship growth
(p. 215).Identify conflict triggers in yourself and others:
c Many conflicts are rooted in errors of perception
(p. 217).
c Incompatible goals can spark conflict (p. 217).
c Conflicts arise when the costs of an interpersonal
relationship outweigh the rewards (p. 218).
c Provocation, the intentional instigation of con-
flict, arises when one party demonstrates aggres-
sion, a person’s identity feels threatened, fairness is
lacking, someone you depend on is incompetent,
or an important relationship is threatened (p. 218).
Explain the forces that influence how people handle
conflict:
c Power dynamics affect relationships in which there
is an imbalance of power (p. 219).
c Personal attitudes about whether conflict is good
or bad influence whether people engage or avoid
dealing with it (pp. 219–220).
c People who take most disagreements as personal
insults or assault are engaging in a destructive ten-
dency called taking conflict personally (TCP)
(p. 220).
c Communication climate varies and may be
uncertain, defensive, or supportive (pp. 220–222).
c Cultural variations, such as individualism/collectivism
and high or low context, and co-cultures, such as
gender or age, have a strong influence on conflict
(pp. 222–224).
c Our reasons for choosing certain communication
channels may be rooted in emotions or practical
considerations (pp. 224–225).c The Internet provides an arena for flaming,
hurling hostile, insulting online messages at an
individual; trolling, posting offensive messages to
stir conflict in an online group; and cyberbullying,
engaging in repeated abusive attacks through
electronic channels (pp. 225–227).Evaluate and employ strategies for managing conflict
in different situations:
c Escapist styles are used to stay away from direct
conflict (p. 227). Walking away, changing the subject,
or postponing conflict are tactics in the avoiding
style, whereas giving in to the other person’s
wishes is obliging. Escapist strategies are good for
quick resolutions but may leave issues unresolved
(p. 228).
c Competitive styles promote the interests of indi-
viduals who see conflict as “win-lose” battles
(p. 230). In direct fighting, people use assertiveness
to argue openly to get their way, which can some-
times lead to verbal aggressiveness, or attacks on
individuals personally. Indirect fighting involves
using passive-aggressive tactics to express conflict
without engaging in it openly (pp. 230–231).
c Cooperative strategies benefit both parties
(p. 231). With compromising, both parties
give up something to gain something (p. 232).
Collaborating involves finding a win-win solution
that satisfies all parties. Collaborating involves
focusing on issues, asking probing questions and
playing devil’s advocate, disclosing your concerns,
and attempting to address each other’s underlying
needs (pp. 232–234).Recognize your ability to repair and let go of painful
conflict:
c Apologize, or openly take responsibility, for
your own misbehavior, including using
metacommunication to talk with each
other about your communication behaviors
(pp. 234–235).
c Forgive in order to emotionally move past the
conflict and let go of the bitterness and resentment
(p. 235).REAL REFERENCE
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