Real Communication An Introduction

6 Part 1  Basic Communication Processes

Expressing Affiliation

Affiliation is the feeling of connectedness you have with others. You show how

you want to be associated with someone by expressing liking, love, or respect—

or, alternatively, dislike, hatred, or disrespect (Wiemann, 2009).

Obviously, it feels good to be loved and admired. But affiliation may also

meet practical needs, as when you show respect for your boss, who can offer you

stability and security in your job. Other times affiliation may fulfill the need for

companionship, intellectual stimulation, or a sense of belonging with a valued

group of people.

Affiliation can be expressed in many different ways—verbally (“I love you”)

and nonverbally (a big hug), and through face-to-face or mediated channels (like

sending text messages or using social networking sites). In fact, we are increasingly

using media technologies to develop and maintain a positive sense of connection

with each other (Walther & Ramirez, 2009), especially with people who are far

away physically. A supportive text message from a friend can help you face a dif-

ficult personal situation with confidence. A simple click of the “Like” thumbs-up

icon on Facebook can show that you are a fan of your brother’s new band.

Managing Relationships

All communication “works” (or not) within the context of relationships—the

interconnections between two or more people. As mentioned earlier, commu-

nication allows us to express affiliation, and that can certainly be important in

relationships. But relationships involve more than just affiliation—such as how

intimately we get to know one another or how we handle conflict (as we’ll see in

Chapters 7 and 8). We need effective communication to be able to manage these

aspects of our relationships.

ALL COMMUNICATION

RELATIONSHIPS, whether

fleeting like a fund-raiser’s

exchange with a donor or

more lasting like a familial

relationship, involve

interdependence.

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(top right) Carin Baer/© AMC /

Courtesy: Everett Collection;

(bottom left) © Focus Features/Courtesy

Everett Collection; (bottom right) Kevin

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Have you ever been in a

relationship in which you

liked someone but at times

felt a bit disconnected from

the person? What messages

did the person send (or

not send) that gave you

this feeling? What did you

do to try to reestablish the

connection?

AND YOU?