48 Part 1 Basic Communication Processesflat hair, thin eyelashes, or short legs! The beliefs we develop about ourselves—our
bodies, our personalities, our abilities—exert a powerful influence on our lives,
our relationships, and our communication. Struggles with self-concept—the way
we perceive ourselves—are closely related to the way we feel about ourselves, of
course, so we next examine how these feelings relate to communication.Self-Esteem: How You Feel About Yourself
Self-esteem refers to how you feel about yourself, including your worth—your
value as a person. Self-esteem consists of attitudes, the positive and negative feel-
ings we have in a given situation about our abilities, traits, thoughts, emotions,
behavior, and appearance. Self-concept and self-esteem are closely related: people
need to know themselves before they can have attitudes about themselves. Con-
sequently, many researchers believe that the self-concept forms first, and self-
esteem emerges later (Greenwalk, Bellezza, & Banaji, 1988).
You have probably noticed that people with high self-esteem have confi-
dence in what they do, how they think, and how they perform. That’s partly
because these individuals are better able to incorporate their successes into their
self-concept. This projection of confidence led the high-end Italian clothing
company Canali to make former Yankee baseball pitcher Mariano Rivera the
first sports-figure star in its advertising campaign history (Araton, 2010). Rivera’s
self-assurance and self-control add to the perception of Canali’s elegant clothing.
Research shows that people with high self-esteem are more confident in their
interpersonal relationships, too—perhaps because they tend to believe that being
friendly is a positive trait that will cause others to be friendly in return (Baldwin
& Keelan, 1999). For example, Facebook posts and pictures of your family and
friends not only communicate your self-worth to others but also encourage
“likes” and “comments” back from them (Jacobs, 2013). Research also shows
that perceived commitment from a romantic partner enhances self-esteem (Rill,
Balocchi, Hopper, Denker, & Olson, 2009). Thus, individuals with high self-
esteem may not feel a strong need for public displays of affection. By contrast,
someone with low self-esteem might press their romantic partner to show affec-
tion in public, so others can see that “someone loves me!”
Research suggests that some people have low self-esteem, or a poor view of
themselves, because they lack accurate information about themselves or they
mistrust the knowledge they do possess. For example, you may feel that you are
a poor student because you have to study constantly to keep up your grades
in German class. Your German professor, however, might find that your
efforts and the improvement you’ve made over the semester reveal that you
are a good, hardworking student. Low self-esteem may also result from
unreasonable comparisons to other people or to cultural stereotypes. If
your self-concept about your body shape is based on comparisons with
media personalities, that perception can affect your self-esteem. Indeed,
exposure to images of body “perfection” in the media has been linked to
negative body image and even eating disorders (Bishop, 2000; Hendriks,
2002; Jacobs, 2013). In fact, a recent study shows that men exposed to
idealized male bodies in even brief music video clips reported decreased
body and muscle tone satisfaction (Mulgrew & Volcevski-Kostas, 2012).Think about three character-
istics that describe your self-
concept and define who you
are. Try to avoid character-
istics that are obvious, such
as “I am an Asian American
female.” How did you come
to believe these things about
yourself? What types of
direct and indirect evidence
led you to these beliefs? Do
your loved ones support the
view you have of yourself?AND YOU?
YANKEES PITCHER
Mariano Rivera brings
an essence of elegant self-
assurance and self-control to
an ad for Canali’s high-end
clothing. Neilson Barnard/WireImage
for New York Magazine/Getty Images