56 Part 1 Basic Communication ProcessesFacebook. You may even have a preference for one of these channels of com-
munication when self-presenting. For example, many people use asynchronous
channels (e-mail, text messages, cards) when they are unsure of the reaction
they will get from the recipient (O’Sullivan, 2000). For example, after a heated
argument with her boyfriend Lance, Julie wants to apologize. Because she’s
uncomfortable making this self-presentation to Lance over the phone or in
person, she chooses to send him a text message when she knows he’ll have his
phone silenced. Many students also prefer e-mail over face-to-face or virtual
office hours to interact with their professors (Li & Pitts, 2009). In fact, the most
common reasons for choosing e-mail or texting over face-to-face interaction is
the ability to carefully construct our messages and to “shield” ourselves from any
immediate negative feedback that might come from the other person (Riordan
& Kreuz, 2010).
To figure out how to present yourself in the best way, you have to pay
attention to your own and others’ behavior. Self-monitoring is your ability to
watch your environment and others in it for cues about how to present your-
self in a particular situation (Snyder, 1974). High-self-monitoring individuals
try to portray themselves as “the right person in the right place at the right
time.” These people watch others for hints on how to be successful in social
situations. And they try to demonstrate the verbal and nonverbal behaviors
that seem most appropriate. You may know someone who is a high-self-moni-
toring communicator. During class, this person always sits in a certain strategic
position, gets involved in discussions when others do so, gestures in a similar
manner to others, and when it is time to let others talk, is very strategic with
silence. These “sufficiently skilled actors” can display situation-appropriate
communication behaviors. Low-self-monitoring individuals are not nearly
so sensitive to situational cues that prescribe communication behavior. They
communicate according to their deep-seated values or their feelings of the
moment. They do not see the need to adapt
to situations or people; rather, they feel
that controlling their style of communica-
tion would be “false.” If low self-monitors
anticipate a communication situation that
is different from their own self-presentation
style, they will either avoid the situation or
accept the fact that their communication
may not please all the parties involved.
Communicating successfully involves
finding the appropriate level of self-monitoring
for the situation and the people involved. It
might seem like high self-monitors are the
winners in social interaction, but this isn’t
always the case. High self-monitors can drive
themselves crazy by focusing on every little
thing that they say and do (Wright, Holloway,
& Roloff, 2007). They might also become
manipulative in their carefully crafted effortsLike Julie, you have prob-
ably encountered situa-
tions in which you chose to
engage in either face-to-face
communication or mediated
communication (for exam-
ple, text messaging, posting
on Facebook, e-mailing).
Why did you choose a par-
ticular channel? If you chose
a mediated channel, did you
feel safer from an unknown
reaction as the research
suggests? Why or why not?AND YOU?
PLACES OF WORSHIP
often have dress codes,
whether they are explicitly
stated or not. People may
feel that you are being disre-
spectful and inappropriate if
you ignore these rules and do
things your own way. Wathiq
Khuzaie /Getty Images