134 CARMAGAZINE.CO.UK | MAY 2019
“The under-the-radarstyle is a big Porscheconstant whose subtleappeal should not be ”Harder to upset
than Gandhi, and
at least as powerful‘There you go!
Now there’s a
big silly smile all
over my face!’
ANDY COLEV8s – they’re for
making grown
men deeply and
inexplicably happyFANCY A DRIVE?
IF YOU’RE CURIOUS
ABOUT OUR FORD
FIESTA ST OR LEXUS
RX, GET IN TOUCH
[email protected] Alex Tapley‘£100k is a
ridiculous
amount of money’
NICK COLEAfter a short stretch of A1
motorway, on which 6ft 4in Nick
finds himself enamoured of both
the BMW’s fine driving position
and agreeably spacious cockpit, we
get stuck into a great sequence of
corners. The M850i rips through,
the car’s adaptive dampers and
impressive composure dispatching
what should, at these speeds, be a
challenging stretch of road. Nick’s
enjoying himself, though he’s
adamant he’d be enjoying himself
more without four-wheel drive...
‘Through faster corners you
don’t really feel the all-wheel drive,’
says Nick. ‘But in tighter bends
I prefer the more natural feel of
my rear-drive 640d. This is a little
Audi-like. Does it need all-wheel
drive? I guess it helps in the snow,
when my 6-series really struggles.
‘As for the four-wheel steering,
you get used to it. Again, it’s in the
tighter corners that you feel it:
there’s a definite sense of the rear
axle helping pivot the car.’
Nick bought his 640d Gran
Coupe because it was both the
perfect car for his requirements and
ludicrously discounted. He needs
a practical family car that’s also
fun on his two-hour, mixed-road
daily commute. ‘The 640d is a good
compromise that doesn’t feel too
compromised,’ he says. ‘The M850i
just wouldn’t work on a practical
level, but it’s also a lot of money;
£100k is ridiculous for a BMW.’
Then the road opens up, clear of
traffic, and the BMW surges from
nothing to 90mph in moments.
‘It does sound lovely, doesn’t it?’
grins Nick, momentarily convinced
perhaps. Then again, maybe not.
‘For me, the answer might be two
cars: a family estate and a weekend
car. Maybe a ’69 Mustang, just to
have, to look at and to drive around
in pretending I’m John Wick.’As if declaring his impartiality from
the start, Andy is unapologetic in
his fondness for BMWs. ‘I owned
pretty much every model iteration
of the E92 3-series, from the
frustrating 330d through a couple
of 335s – the best engine – to theultimately disappointing M3,’ he
tells me. But after an Audi RS5
and an X5, Andy made the jump
to EVs with his Model S 85D – a
new Performance Model S with
Ludicrous Acceleration turns up
shortly. Can the M850i impress?
‘Straight away it does feel heavy,’
says Andy. ‘The Tesla’s heavier, but
to an extent the electric motors
mask some of that. This kicks
really hard too but it’s different – it
feels different. You don’t get any
build-up in a Tesla – just the hit of
acceleration. This feels... old school.
It’s back to raucous power. I always
thought that what I loved about a
fast car was the noise and the speed,
but when you drive a Tesla yourealise that the exhilaration comes
from the speed alone – you don’t
need the noise; it’s just theatre.’
Andy’s confidence in the car
builds quickly as he re-adjusts to
using actual brakes (rather than
relying on regenerative charging
to slow the car) and a car that goes
through bends like, well, like a
BMW. ‘For something this big and
heavy it does feel impressively agile
through corners, with tight body
control and lots of grip,’ he says.
‘It’s refined, too; quiet, and a nice
place to be, particularly when you
compare the interior to a Tesla.’
Out of a junction, Andy gives
the V8 some stick. He’s just been
telling me how indulgent engines
like this are, and then... ‘There you
go! Now there’s a big silly smile on
my face! But seriously, I think I’m
over engines. The cost of ownership
is huge and a 4.4-litre V8 is just
gratuitous. But if BMW accelerated
its electrification and came out with
this powered by a 100kWh battery,
that would be a game-changer.’